Roller Coaster of Life (Joe Sugg fan fiction)

Chapter 19

"So..."

"It all started in high school." I sighed and began knowing what he'd been wondering since we arrived in the restaurant. Even maybe since he was being a real gentleman and tried to end Mike's life when he didn't even know who he was. "We were dating for 6 months or so but no one ever agreed to it. Not my dad, not Joe, nor Zoe, no one. Myself even was skeptical at first but he somehow made me trust him enough to ignore everyone and just kept on going with the relationship. Until..." I broke down. I couldn't continue my words. The flashback was playing in my head. How sweet his sneaky words were and everything. I don't know if I should tell Joey but I think I trust him. Maybe he deserves to know if we're thinking about taking it farther. But do I want to? Or does he?

"If you don't feel like talking about it, it's fine, Chrissy. You don't need to. We just knew each other anyway." Well that answered it all. We didn't know each other. I just nodded at his statement and continued with my pizza. "I...actually want to know you better, though. If that's okay...?" That brought smile back to my face. Maybe I do want to like him better. Maybe I want to take it farther.

"Shoot me with questions." I grinned and he laughed.

"Okay. So, hobby?"

"Let's see...watching films?"

"Come on!"

"Hey! It's a hobby too!"

"Yeah like every single persons in this planet's hobby. Come on. Real hobby."

"Okay okay I love playing piano although I'm not good with it. Not at all. Joe even always ask me to stop before I could touch it but I just love how it makes beautiful sounds, you know?" It's true, though. I love playing piano or in my case now, keyboard. Because that's what I could seem to afford and keep in my room. But can I really play? Well...I think I got the basic covered but...I don't know. Let's just say I can play better than do-re-mis.

"You should play to me sometimes."

"No, trust me you don't wanna hear." I giggled.

"What if I do?"

"Okay now what's your hobby?"

"Hmm...watching porn." I could feel wind touching my bare eyes yet I still couldn't blink my eyes. Is it true? Wow... Did I hear it right? Joey...ew! Ew! "I'm just kidding! God ew no of course not. I can't believe you trusted me. Do I really look like a guy who likes porn?" He said while making a disgusted face at the word 'porn' and I sighed in relieve.

"That wasn't funny, Joey!" I slapped his cheek carefully and laughed.

"That was kind of funny though. You should've looked at your own face. Your eyes were like..." I rolled my eyes and kept on ignoring his words. "Come on now. I was just kidding! Okay, my hobby, eh?" He got my attention back and I nodded making him giggled. On what? I'm not sure. Maybe it's my face again? "Hmm I enjoy talking to cameras badly. Like it's not just my job but it's getting to be my hobby either. If that makes sense."

"Of course it does. Just like the Suggs." I smiled and he nodded with a smile too. My eyes stuck at his beautiful ones that were staring back at me for quiet a good moment. He's beautiful really. He's a nice guy. He's too good to be true but it's just like Marcus all over again. The different part is that I kind of actually like him and we just met. I mean, I did like Marcus but it took me times, but Joey, it only took me what? Two days? What if he'd finally leave me too? I don't know if I would be able to handle it anymore.

"Chrissy, are you okay?" He asked concerned.

"Yeah." I smiled. "And, next question?" He smiled and we kept talking about lives for what felt like a few minutes but really it was over an hour.



"Shall we go?" I nodded and he left some money on the table since I left my wallet and everything in Joe's car and I felt bad. I felt like some gold diggers or something.

We stopped a cab in front of the restaurant and he asked the driver to get us to my apartment.

"Hey, I'm sorry you had to pay. I'd pay it back to you seriously."

"Chrissy, are you kidding me? I'm the guy here. It's fine." He assured me and I smiled. "You know what? You can pay me with another date, though. How does it sound?" He grinned as I chuckled.

"Sounds good to me."

"Really?" I thought for awhile but nodded anyway. Do I like him? I do. Do I want to be with him? I don't know about that just yet. I don't even know if this will work but the least I could do is to try and see.


Joe's POV

"That's the last one. Are you sure you want to do this now?"

"I mean what else can I do? It's the best for everyone."

"Joe, I didn't mean it this way. I was thinking about you to have a talk or two with Chrissy and make things right. You're an adult now, Joe. You can't always run yourself away from your own problems. I always tell you to look at things in the best way but for now, look at the worst way. What's the worst could happen?" Chrissy to hate me forever. That's the worst. Well, that can't get anything worse, can it?

I know Zoe's right. What am I doing? Why do I always act like a 5-year-old spoiled girl? But that's just who I am. And I don't know if I can ever change.

"Come on in. Joe and Zoe are probably..." I heard Chrissy's voice on the front door and she stopped as she saw the living room that was packed with my boxes. "What's happening? Guys? Are you selling the place? Are you moving back to your house? But what about me? I'm not going to America! Why didn't you talk about it with me first? What's happening?" She almost didn't catch a breath as the questions rolled out of her mouth.

"Chrissy, no. We're not in any way selling the place." Zoe walked to her and tried to calm her down. This is going to be hard.

"Then someone please tell me what's happening because last time I tried I can't read minds." Zoe glared at me but I really didn't know what to say. I can't handle talking to Chrissy moreover with Joey here.

"I'll...just...eh...leave you guys, okay? See you tomorrow, Chrissy. Bye, Joe. Bye, Zoe." Joey said as if he could read my mind. But well, he obviously can't knowing the fact that he's with Chrissy now. Chrissy smiled at him before he left.

"Now talk. I don't care who, really just talk."

"I'm moving out. To Jeanette's place. Today." I finally revealed.

"What? Is Sunday coming a little faster this week? Did Mike kidnap me a week ago? It feels like it just happened yesterday."

"Chrissy, please! Don't make it hard for me! I'm trying to tell you!"

"Then tell me why?"

"Because...I just can't stay here any longer! If I want to make things work with Jeanette I have no choice but moving out sooner."

"What about these past years? Have you been sneaking out to her place at night?"

"Chrissy!"

"No. Joe! What happened with you? I don't feel like I know you anymore."

"Maybe it's because you don't. Maybe you don't really know me." What did I say? God, I did not just say that. Why am I so stupid?!

"Go!"

"Chrissy, I'm sorry. I..."

"Leave! I don't know you and I don't want strangers in my place so I insist you to leave my roommate and I alone. I'm sure you belong somewhere else." Zoe just looked at me disappointedly. Chrissy has never been this mad before. It's worse than Gordon Ramsey, trust me. No, she doesn't curse but it stings badly.

I know I was wrong. But staying under the same roof with Chrissy doesn't help anything. It's just making me falling even more for her when I'm in a serious relationship with another girl who I've never felt anything serious for.

"What are you still doing here? Leave!"

"If only I could tell you my reason, Chrissy, I would."

"Then can you?"

"Chrissy, it's not that easy. It's..."

"Can you?" I glanced at Zoe who was nodding at me as if she's telling me to tell her the truth. But should I? "Joe, please. You're my best friend. I know when something happens to you. So please tell me. But if you really think I've never known you all these times, or if you really can't wait to live with your...fiancée then...just leave."



"I love you." She stopped and her eyes widened at me.

"You...what?"

"You heard me. I love you. It's sickening me how stupid I am to have this feeling but...I really do."

"But...you're engaged, Joe."

"Exactly. That's the reason why I need to leave because living with you just making my feeling worse and I just can't do it anymore. I feel bad for Jeanette. I feel bad for Joey. I feel bad for you, for Zoe and even for myself."

"But Joe..."

"I'm not done yet. That's not the reason to only why I wanted to move out but frankly that's also the reason as to why I propose to Jeanette. I know that you won't in any romantic way love me. We've been best friends for so long and all I know but I just can't help the fact that..."

...

"Joe? Joe? Answer me!" Chrissy snapped me out of my crazy scenario. God, how I wish I would change and just did it all. But no. I'm just the stupid little coward that will never be brave enough to do or say anything even when myself know I need to. You need to change eventually, Joe. You have to if you want everything to change to be better.

"Eh...yeah..."

"So?"

"I...I had a fight with Jeanette and I thought the only way that I can fix it is with moving out earlier so we can figure it out together." I lied, but somehow the anger in her eyes was gone and sadness and fear replaced it within seconds.

"Is it because of me?" She asked and looked down.

"What? No! No, of course not. It was just a misunderstanding and all." Zoe shook his head and rolled her eyes. I know for sure she was disappointed at me for saying more lies. Even I was disappointed at myself.

"So you really have to leave now?"

"I'm afraid so."

"Well, can I...hug you? Eh...for like...the last time?" She wanted to hug me. After everything I said. It's real. It's not a scenario. I smiled and walked to her then started wrapping my hands around her waist.

"I'm sorry for what I said." I whispered to her as I felt her tears on my shoulder. "I'm sorry for being so stupid. I know in fact that you're the only person who knows every single details of my dirty little secrets. You know me too well, Chrissy." She chuckled between her sobs. I made her cried. And it crushed me. I could've stayed for a few more days but instead, I'm just...being me.

"It's okay. I'm sorry too." She pulled away and I wiped her tears with my thumbs.

"It's not the last hug, okay?" I smiled. Obviously the fake one. Well at least it made her smile.

...

I put all my stuffs in the car and managed to prevent my tears from coming out before leaving the parking lot. I took a last glance at the apartment and the girls who were standing a few meters away from me and I waved at them. I then got into the car and finally let my tears all out.

This is a life changing movement and I'm not sure if it's for the best. Well, I'm sure it's not. But it was my choice. I have to deal with it. At least for now.



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Well.....here's a chapter.....

I don't know what to say to those who've been waiting. Thank you soooo much for staying and patiently waiting. I love you guys so much and I hope you liked this chapter!

Also, I might will leave you guys for a little more time due to exams and all...but I promise a month would be the longest time for you to wait! Okay? Okay? Okay!!! <3

And...vote because you're awesome!


(I didn't proof read so sorry for mistakes!)