Roller Coaster of Life (Joe Sugg fan fiction)

Chapter 22

Joe's POV

"Do you, Joseph Sugg, takes Jeanette Thompson as your lovely wedded bride?"

Noooo no no no what should I say? Should I say yes just because That's what Jeanette would want to hear? Should I say yes just because people are expecting me to say so? Should I say yes when I know I have fallen out of love with her?

Or should I say no because I want to say so? Should I say no because I can't force myself to say yes? Should I say no because the one that I want to be with is sitting somewhere behind me?

"Joe?" I heard Jeanette's voice trying to snap me. Maybe this is the time. Maybe I should just say it already.

After taking a long breathe, I finally said, "No." I said it. It's done. No turning back. The wedding's off.

"What?"

"I'm sorry, but I can't, Jeanette. I don't love you anymore. I'm so sorry but I'm in love wi-"



"Joe? Are you okay? Joe, wake up. Joe?" I opened my eyes and saw Jeanette supporting her body with her elbow on the bed, looking straight at me. Shoot. Not that dream again. "Nightmare?"

"Nightmare, yeah." She only shook her head and went back to sleep. That's another thing I hate about her. She didn't even try to know what happened to me. I know, even if she asks, I won't tell her the truth but she's my fiancée. How can I be sure to marry her if she barely knows me? It's not just she doesn't want to know, but she also doesn't seem to care a bit.

I saw the clock and it was still 5 am. I tried to go back to sleep but there was no use. I wanted to call Zoe to do my daily check up on Chrissy but I know she won't be awake.

What? Hey, don't judge me! I know it's a stalker-ish thing to do that but how am I going to survive life without knowing that she's okay? Although I know that Joey will take a good care of her. But Christ, I'm her best friend. I've been one for so long, at least until before I ruined everything.

That dream though, I've been having that kind of dream for 3 days and I've been thinking about it ever since. Is it some kind of sign from God? That I shouldn't force myself to marry Jeanette just to forget about Chrissy? Well, yeah, I know I shouldn't. It's just messed up. The first key of a beautiful marriage is to love each other, and we, Jeanette and I, have totally failed at it. I don't think she loves me anymore and I, if it isn't already obvious, am not either. Even if I can't get Chrissy, I still can't marry Jeanette because I just simply don't love her. It won't be fair for both of us.

Maybe it's time for me to grow up just like how Zoe has been wishing me too. Maybe it'll be better to talk to Jeanette about everything. Maybe she will understand and everything will turn out well. Maybe.

"Jeanette? Jeanette, wake up." I shook her shoulder and her eyes slowly opened. "Jeanette, we need to talk."

"About what? Hurry, I need my 8 hours of sleep." I held the urge to roll my eyes. I need to get this done.

I sighed and started. "Listen, I'm sorry, Jeanette, but I think we need to call off the wedding."

"What?! What are you talking about?" Her eyes widened in shock.

"Jeanette, do you still feel the same? Do you still feel the same about this relationship like years ago? Because frankly, I don't."

"Is it about that little friend of yours? Christy? Is it about her?"

"It's Chrissy." I mumbled.

"Yeah Chrissy, Christy, whatever. Do you seriously like her? She's not even half as pretty as I am. Or other girls if that matters. What is it that you see from her?"

"Jeanette, listen to yourself. It's not about her. It's about you. It's your personality that I can't stand and I don't think I can do this anymore." There was a few moment of silence. She didn't say anything and for me, I guess I've said enough. I just wanted an answer. I wanted her to simply say 'you're right, Joe. This marriage is wrong.' or just 'you're right.' will do. But instead, she broke the moment with the words that I've never thought I'd hear.

"You know what?" She took a deep breath and exhaled loudly before she continued, "No. I don't want a break up. We were once in love and we can do this, Joe. In fact, we're getting married. Next month. I'm going to talk to my parents about it." She said as if it's the easiest thing to comprehend.

"But it's not even a question."

"I don't care, Joe!" She shouted at me and sighed, "Now, go get some sleep." And with that, she dropped her head back to the bed and fell back asleep shortly.

Well, it didn't turn anything smooth. Now, it gets even worse. What do I do now?

Everything won't be the same. She now knows that I don't have feeling for her anymore yet we're still engaged. It's just weird.


.....


It was 8 am when I decided to go to Starbucks. Jeanette was still asleep so I left her. I decided to call Zoe and soon enough she picked up her phone.

"Hey, Joe." Her voice greeted me from the other line.

"Hey. How's she?" I asked weakly.

"I think something's wrong. She ignored me all day yesterday and last night, she went outside without me knowing."

"To where?"

"I don't even know."

"Is she okay, now?"

"She's still asleep. I'll ask her once she's awake, okay?"

"Cool. Anyway, Zoe, there's something else I need to talk about."

"What's that?"

"I guess...I'm getting married next month."

"What?! Joe, you're getting out of control! I was okay at first, well, no, not okay, but now you're just being stupid. You can't just do that. What if Chrissy actually likes you?"

"Yeah right. She's with Joey. But that's not why."

I heard Zoe murmured something unclearly and continued, "then enlighten me."

"I...tried to call off the wedding. You know I just can't do it. I don't even love her anymore-"

"You've never did." She cut me off.

"Exactly. But then she got mad and all then she said and I quote 'I don't want a break up. In fact, we'll get married next month' something like that."

"Is she out of her mind?! Joe, I'm telling you she's a little off in the brain part. You know, I regret ever helping you with the whole engagement thing."

"How should I know it'll turn out to be a chaos like this?"

"How could you not know?" She asked rhetorically. "Joe, you should stop this whole game."

"If I can do it myself, I wouldn't ask for your help."

"Okay, whatever." She hung up. Maybe it was partly my fault. Well, maybe it was all my fault. I shouldn't have proposed to Jeanette at the first place. Hell, I shouldn't ask her to be my girlfriend. I should've broken up with her and confronted my feeling to Chrissy long time ago.

God, I miss her.

Why did Zoe say that something might happened to her? Did something like Marcus happened again? Did he find Joey cheated on her? No no. I know Joey will never do such a thing. But then what happened? I feel the need to ask her and comfort her about whatever it is. I promised Daniel to take care of her and I need to do it right. But again, I guess I already failed the time I stepped out of the door.

But I need to make it up. I know I can and I will. I remembered about the wallet that Chrissy left in my car. Well, now there's a reason for me to visit her, huh?

Right before I left Starbucks, Jeanette called my phone. I was skeptical at first but soon answered it.

"Joe, would you go home? I need to leave." I pulled back my phone from my ear and saw that it was 9 am.

"How long? I need to go somewhere too."

"It won't take too long. I'll be back at eleven."

"Cool." I hung up and went back home.

As I arrived, Jeanette was nowhere to be found. I guess she already left, which oddly made me relieved.

I spent the next few hours thinking about words to Chrissy. Apologising, telling her how much I miss her, reminiscing old times, and actually back being the best of friends although I doubt it'd be easy for me. But at least I can see her face, touch her hands, laugh with her. At least I can make her happy and protect her.

After I came up with some pretty cool ideas and once Jeanette got back -which she was late by half an hour by the way-, I made my way to the cinema before I went to my apartment. My apartment. That I once shared with my sister and my best friend. My best friend. Who I miss so badly that it hurts sometimes.

Now, this better be good.

...


"I miss you, Zoe." I hugged her right after she opened the door.

"I miss you too, Joseph. How's the wedding?" She said in the most sarcastic tone ever.

"Would you please just call Chrissy over instead of making fun of me?"

"Right. One second." With that she left me went to Chrissy's room.

I used that moment to look around the familiar room. Pure white wall, a little couch in front of a not so big tv, and to my left, there I saw my kitchen which I barely use, thanks to delivery.

It's not that big. It's not even half as big as Jeanette's place but at least it feels like home here. It feels so much like home with people that I love inside it.

Just then, Zoe walked back with a weird look in her face. It's like she just saw cats making love in front of her bare eyes.

"What happened?" I asked her

"Eh...J-Joe...I think you...um...you should get back later." I waited for her to tell her reason but she never did.

"Because...?"

"She's...still taking a shower and..."

"Move." I walked passed Zoe and there, inside of Chrissy's room, I saw something worse than cats making love. I saw my beautiful best friend. Not just that, but her lips were literally touching someone's lips. And not just someone, that someone has a name which strangely sounds a little like mine.

Joey.

I gasped inaudibly. Well, I just didn't want to ruin their beautiful moment. I tried my best not to make a sound and walked back to the door and left without saying any word to Zoe although I heard her calling my names for several times but I ignored her. That was quiet a lot to take in a day. I found out that myself is going to marry a girl that I don't love, found Chrissy and Joey getting more and more serious, and for the best part, knowing that I will never be more than friend with Chrissy.

I got in my car and started the engine before made my way back home. I held on the steering wheel with anger, hurt, disappointment, everything. Even I felt my eyes started getting blurry. I couldn't get what I saw out of my head. Chrissy...Joey...I don't even know what upset me. It's not like she'll like me back but it just hurts seeing her actually having a real relationship with someone who isn't me. Maybe I'm just being selfish. Maybe I'm just too stubborn. And maybe...maybe that's a huge truck coming towards my direction.

Its size was getting bigger and bigger and before I could think about doing anything, everything got blurred. Not because of tears. And the last thing I could see was people running to me like how they did to uncle Ben in Spider-Man.

God, if I can have one last wish, please take care of the people I love.

And with that, I passed out.


---


Dun dun dun!!!

So basically, I just wrote back last chapter in Joe's point of view....I know but I do hope you guys enjoyed it, though.

Seriously, guys, you have no idea how much I love all of you who actually spend times to read my stories, commenting, voting, and just simply making me happy. I love you so much! And I didn't get to say it so, HAPPY NEW YEARS! I hope you this year will be so much better for everyone. And I hope...I'll get better at writing haha

And guys, if you want to, vote because you're awesome!