Despair

thirty

❝ heaven's a heartbreak away ❞

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she was coming on terms that she couldn't have a normal life. she can't go on dates, nor could she date.

she had been out of the public eye for awhile now, and skipped another red carpet – justin went, hoping to see her.

justin tried to call her, facetime her, even message her, but she wouldn't respond to him. he even got theresa's number from someone he knew and rang her, asking her to pass the phone onto selena.

the conversation went like this:

justin: selena?

selena: yeah?

justin: thank god! why haven't you been replying to me?

selena: oh; my phone hasn't been working properly.

justin: why haven't you gone to get it fixed?

selena: no, it's working, there's just a crack on my phone which bugs the whole system; i'm going to get it fixed soon.

justin: oh, okay.

selena: yup.

justin: are you okay? like, how are you?

selena: i'm living, that's all that matters.

justin: sel –

selena: theresa's getting another phone call, so i have to go, justin. i'll speak to you soon.

and then it ended. justin was confused.

he was outside her house right now, in fact. retrieving his car keys from the ignition, where the engine shuts off, he gets out of the car. he doesn't bother to lock his car. going to selena's gate that guarded her house, he presses on the buzzer. "hello?" he knew this voice was the girl he wanted to see the most: selena.

"uh, it's justin," he replied awkwardly. he heard her sigh. however, the gate opened, and he squeezed through the tiny opening gap so she could shut it faster.

getting to the front door, he knocks. a second later it swings open and he was confronted with theresa. "hey, justin."

"oh, hey. where's selena?" he couldn't be bothered to stand around and play with selena's game: he was determined to see her.

"she told me to send you away," theresa says with a apologetic smile. "she isn't feeling too well."

"is that what she told you to say too?" he snaps, going pass the threshold and into the house without invitation. theresa didn't stop him; she shuts the door behind him.

"she's upstairs," theresa mouthed to a shocked justin. "turn right and it's the first door." why was she actually helping him? "pretend you urged your way in and i tried to stop you," she whispered to him now, not caring if he couldn't understand what was going on and why she was helping him.

pushing him to the stairs, she stops at the bottom while he ascends up them. watching him go to the top, he turns the corner and was out of view.

there was the door: selena's bedroom. he felt like he was doing something wrong, like he shouldn't've came.

however, pushing the feelings aside, he draws a big breath in and goes to the door, opening it without second thoughts.

and there she was: sitting on the window sill, staring out, and clutching her phone in her hand. he hadn't seen her for awhile: she looked different from what he could remember – less of life.