The Jackson's Household

Chapter 50

February 14th

Carson's POV.

I set my bouquet of flowers by the side of Noah's bed. His real bed. Two weeks ago he almost died. Now he's here sleeping on his bed looking nothing but terrible.

His eyelids were a light reddish color and he had dark bags under his eyes. His face was looking very pale and his body was very limpy. It was as almost as he wasn't alive.

The doctors said he wasn't going to make it but here he is now. I don't know much about cancer but I do know that Noah is a fighter. Just when you think he's going to die on you, he lives.

He came back from the hospital a week after the incident and I visited him ever since. Unfortunately everytime I would come visit him, he would be asleep. His mom said that he only been awake for a bit and then falls back to sleep. I guess cancer is like that.

Everyone was out having dates with their Valentines while I'm here with my barely alive ex- boyfriend.

I pictured this day to be one of the best days of my life with Noah. We would just stay at home, eat popcorn and I don't know, I guess we would cuddle or something.

I didn't bring him any candy or anything like that because knew he wasn't a big fan of it. I can just remember the day we were driving up to his grandmother's house and he ate a candy bar.

"I love you." I whispered in his ear. It was seven o'clock and I guess he still might be tired so I didn't want to wake him up. Even though his face was all sad looking, he still looked peaceful in his sleep.

I started to lean back before Noah grabbed my hand. He was final awake! I didn't know what to say though. I'm sorry I broke up with you over something stupid but you know that I'm an idiot so...

"Hi." I said looking into his calming green eyes.

"What're you doing here?" He asked me. His voice was croaky and it sounded like he had a sore throat. (He's still cute though.)

"Um, I wanted to visit you. I hope you're okay." I told him.

"Know you don't! Y-your and EVERYONE hates me. You d-don't care about me. Never did." He siad angrily. I kept a hold of his hand and sat on his bed.

I felt bad. Nothing feels worse than a guilty conscience. I love him, I really do, but I mess everything up with us. I don't know if we can get back up on our feet.

And it even sucks more that I've been meaning to tell him something that might affect him badly. It's a big decision and I already decided.

"Noah, I hate myself for hurting you. I just feel that there's no trust in our relationship."I explained to him. What I really meant is that he doesn't trust me.

"I love you! Isn't that enough?! I want you but you don't seem to want me as much. You first told me that you loved me but it doesn't feel like it anymore. You stopped hanging out with me and started hanging out a lot more other people. I feel so out of place and I feel alone." He said sadly.

"I love you too and I really want our relationship to work. I can't I imagine being with other people other than you. It won't feel right. And I didn't mean to leave you behind in stuff. But I don't shut want to hang out with he same people. I like socializing. You know that. And you don't have to be alone anymore. I'm gonna be here now. So what I say is that you take me back."

I pulled out the promise ring and slipped it onto his finger. I gently kissed his hand. I reached over and cuffed his face together. I wanted to kiss him so badly but I would have to wait for his permission.

"Carson...if we date for the third time then I would want a commitment. The only reason I didn't tell you about the things I've been doing business because I was afraid that you would leave me. And you did. And then right after I lost Rocky and Jordan."

"Give me a chance." I said as I leaned over and gently kissed him. It was like all the other kisses we had but it felt like...like love.

Noah slowly nodded and closed his eyes.

"I'm tired." He announced. I nodded my head.

"Okay but first I need to tell you something."

"What is it? Is it something bad?" He asked worriedly.

"Maybe, it depends your reaction to it. I, um...there was a test at school. If you get w very high score they could...move your grade up."

"What are you saying? I don't understand." He said.

"Noah, I got the highest score in the school. I'm gonna be a senior for the rest of this school year."

I could hardly believe it myself too. But yes I was going to be a senior and Noah is going to stay a freshman. I felt bad because we couldn't graduate together or go to the same prom. I mean I can't take him because at this school we can't go with any one who isn't in the same grade or school. He's gonna be with people he doesn't know if it were allowed anyway. The last dance we had didn't go well so...

Tears sprang out of his eyes and he shook his head.

"You can't leave me alone. We were supposed to graduate together and go to the same college or something. I don't want to be away from you at school. Who's going to protect me from Oliver or Larry?"

"Wait, did they do something to you?" I asked him. He looked down and nodded.

"They, uh, um, they cornered me in the library and attacked me. It was horrible! That's kinda why I decided to be homeschooled. I never wanted to go back to that school. But here I am."

"Noah..."

"And it's not fair! You get everything. You get to drive a car and I never got my first lesson. He get to do cool things because you have two legs. And every wants to befriend you. You're popular and can get anyone you want. And now you're skipping to senior year and I'm still going to be a freshman. We'll only have one year of college together. I want see you next year or the rest of my high school life."

I held onto him as he ranted about unfairness. I didn't care for how much he resents me for this. All I cared about was that he loves me and I love him.