Hold me close {{Larry one-shots and drabbles}}[ON HOLD]

Love comes tumbling down

 {{warning- this story contains mentions of suicide}}

 “There are so many things that I want so badly to tell you but I just can't.”

― Nina LaCour, Hold Still

“Dance with me ,” Harry says suddenly, making Louis look up at him in surprise.“Dance with you?” Louis asks, confusion clear on his face and Harry nods.

 “But there’s no music,” Louis protests, though there’s a smile creeping up his face. It’s the kind of smile Harry loves, the one which makes Louis’s face  light up, make him look so beautiful.

“Listen carefully Lou, you can hear it too,” he says as he pulls Louis on his feet. It’s quiet in the flat, just the two of them. Louis’s hand is warm in Harry’s grip and he tries to memorize how it feels because he was running out of time and there was so much he still wanted.

Louis’s hand settles on his shoulder, fingers splaying across his shirt. Harry interlocks his fingers with Louis’s; grip on his waist just a tad stronger. They begin to move together, slowly, their bodies in sync. An odd kind of relief, almost like numbness settles onto Harry’s body.  The voices in his head are still incessant as ever, reminding him that he had to go, he had to leave but he realizes that he could just ignore them for now; now when Louis was in his arms, breath hot against his neck, when it felt right to just be.

“I love you,” Harry whispers. A heartbeat later Louis’s lips find his in a gentle kiss, as their bodies move closer to each other. “Love you Haz,” Louis breathes against Harry’s lips as he pulls back, his blue eyes seeking Harry’s green ones.  In that moment Harry just wants to break down; he wants to tell Louis everything. He wants to tell Louis about the voices in his head, he wants to tell Louis about the loneliness that’s settled into his bones, the darkness he’s spiralling into. But he doesn’t; he wants this moment to be perfect. He wants Louis to remember him like this; happy, not the broken, lost person he is.

They dance for a long time, bodies moving as one and Harry can’t help grip tighter onto Louis, his eyes burning with unshed tears, knowing that this was the last time he was going to hold Louis like this. The voices in his head grow louder, overlapping each other, reminding him that he had to let go; he had to leave, time was running out –his time was running out. “Louis,” he whispers and Harry feels his breath hitch as his eyes meet Louis’s.“I – I love you,” he says, his words ringing with sincerity. Louis looks at him puzzled and for a moment Harry panics, but then Louis smiles, leaning forward to touch his forehead with Harry’s. “Love you too Haz, so much.”  And those words are all Harry needs to hear.

Hours later when Harry is lying in bed with Louis, he tries to memorize every single thing about him, not that he has to, but it seems important, especially now.  Louis’s warmth is seeping into his own body, burning into his skin, leaving its imprint. He wonders what Louis will do tomorrow, when he realizes what Harry had done. One part of Harry wishes that he could tell Louis everything now, and maybe Louis would stop him. Hold him tight, whisper words of assurances, kiss him again and again but the other part of him doesn’t want too . He’s gone on for so long like this, pretending, lying that he’s all right; he just wants to put an end to it all. He hopes that Louis will understand; someday …maybe even forgive him. He eases out of the bed, careful to not jostle Louis. “I love you.” He whispers as he places a gentle kiss on Louis’s forehead.

***

The night wind is bitingly cold and his feet are freezing as he stands on the ledge. One step, one tiny step forward and it would be over. The voices are screaming at their loudest now, the voices. ‘Jump Harry. It’s time you for you to leave, come on, just jump.’ There’s a rapid slideshow going on in his mind, faces melting into one another.  This is the best way, for him and for everyone. He needs to go, he needs to be free. Louis’s face stands out from the rest, bright and beautiful. “I’m sorry Lou, “he whispers to the wind, praying that Louis could somehow hear him as his feet leave the ledge, hurtling down to the ground.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Well hello! :) I’ve decided to make ‘Hold me close’ into a collection of Larry one-shots and drabbles. So I will be adding it every now and then. I’m even thinking of filling prompts; but that for later, I need a little more confidence in my writing skills for that. This could be read as a sequel to ‘You make everything all right’ or on its own. And it’s angst-y again…*sigh*Well I hope you like it. Do comment, vote and everything nice :P <3 Oh and thank you for the reads!! :)  [[And  I just checked this again and omg I found a ton of mistakes!! I just..sorry to all those who had to read the horrendous mistakes!]]

*Title from the Matt Nathanson song of the same name

[[ALL CREDITS TO COVER TO THE OWNER..I JUST ADDED THE TEXT]]