Hold me close {{Larry one-shots and drabbles}}[ON HOLD]

The last time

 

Where Louis is addicted to drugs and alcohol and he knows he’s broken his promises and somehow Harry’s always there...

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It’s not the first time.

It’s not the first time Louis has broken his promise. It’s not the first time he’s staggered home, vision blurry and hands trembling as the drug and alcohol induced haze clouded his mind. It’s not the first time he’s struggling to even walk, and it’s definitely not the first time he’s facing Harry’s heartbroken face.

But it hurts like the first time; hurts so bad when he sees Harry’s face crumple in anguish and disappointment. He tries to shake off Harry’s gentle grip on his shoulder, but Harry doesn’t let go. Louis knows there’s nothing he could say, nothing he could do that would even remotely justify his current situation. So averts his eyes, keeps his gaze away from Harry; away from those green eyes, away from the sadness and concern etched into Harry’s face.

When Harry’s hand grasps his in a light, assuring grip Louis feels a strong wave of disgust and hate roll over him. This, what he’s become, when he is under the control of the addiction and what he’s doing to Harry. The last thought causes a wave of nausea to roll over him, churning his gut and his legs almost give out.  He manages to pull away from Harry and runs towards the bathroom, his lungs burning, stomach already heaving, collapsing by the toilet.

The guilt is white hot, coursing through his body. He can hear the blood pounding in his temples, he can feel the way his stomach convulses as he throws up again and again , until there’s nothing left but dry, rasping breaths. Hands are carding through his hair, pushing back his sweaty fringe, soothing to his overheated skin.  Louis leans into the touch, his mind screaming the words of apology he just can’t form.  Harry wipes his face clean, his every gesture so gentle, so careful and Louis tries not to cry, tries to push back the tears threatening to fall.

 “Sorry,” manages to croak out, finally making eye contact with Harry and his heart breaks into a million pieces as sees Harry’s face. “ I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry…” he chants and Harry’s gathering him into a hug and Louis thinks that Harry's arms are anchoring him,  that the last shred of his sanity is within Harry. So he holds on, whispering words of apology, begging for forgiveness, asking for Harry to not leave him.

 And Harry. Harry’s right there, all along, holding him, reassuring him that it’s all right, that’s he isn’t going anywhere and Louis  holds on to that. So he keeps saying sorry, letting himself fall against Harry.

It’s not the first time Louis knows, it’s not the first time when he’s broken his promise but maybe, he hopes this is the last time.

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Hello:) this story is dedicated to @gini14 who always comments the sweetest things. Thank you so much!! I’m supposed to be studying for my exams…but oh well ^_^ Hope you guys like this. Do comment and vote if you do!

P.s-Thank you for the reads *^_^*

P.P.S- Idk what I was actually thinking when I wrote this 0.0