Hold me close {{Larry one-shots and drabbles}}[ON HOLD]

Paper walls

He thought that maybe he could move on,but his heart is made of paper-like the walls he built around them.

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The thing is Louis has always been there for as long as Harry can remember. Stunningly bright and beautiful and everything Harry wished he was.  It’s just that he‘s so afraid wanting Louis like this, frightened that his heart is so out of his control. Harry’s scared of Louis; he’s scared of the perfection, the crushing disappointment he knows will wash over him every time he sees Louis. So he’s content to just to remain in the shadows, just stay a step or two behind Louis. And even though he yearned for Louis to look at him just a little differently, he knew he was hoping for a miracle. So he learned to how to hold onto his heart, half-heartedly managed to convince himself that it was okay; that he would get over Louis.

****

When Harry starts his first year at University, he’s looking forward to a year without much trouble; he’s looking for a way to get away from Louis. So he settles into a normal, boring routine, busying himself in his books and the tiny coffee shop that’s almost his second home now. He makes a few friends, manages to go to one party and last for a whole hour before getting out of the stifling crowd. So that crosses parties off his list.

Harry almost believes that his life couldn’t be any better when he sees a flash of blue eyes and windswept caramel hair. He spends the next hour and a half locked up in his room, trying not to hyperventilate.  He knows that it’s Louis, and the feeling becomes reality when Louis knocks on his room that night. Harry manages to stutter out a hello and he hopes that Louis thinks that he’s just red because of the cold, not because he’s blushing furiously.

It’s like nothing has changed, and all of those walls he had built around his heart just falls down, like they‘re made of paper. But this time it’s just him and Louis and Harry begins to feel like it’s not that bad; he’s finding it surprisingly easy to be friends with Louis, even though Louis is still the same, so beautiful and still so bright.

But it all changes the one night Louis stumbles into Harry’s room, drunk and pulls Harry close to him. There’s a tense silence for a long moment, and Harry knows he should pull away but  he doesn’t and lets Louis kiss him full on the mouth. He lets Louis take him to the bedroom, lips still locked, hands grasping at each other’s hips.

***

 It’s morning and Harry doesn’t want to open his eyes, afraid yet again that he will see the empty space next to him.  But when he does open his eyes, Louis is still next to him with him. Louis stirs in his sleep, eyes opening slowly and he smiles widely when he sees Harry, and maybe Harry realizes that he doesn’t need to be that afraid of wanting Louis anymore.