Hold me close {{Larry one-shots and drabbles}}[ON HOLD]

Falling Apart

Where Harry wants to leave and Louis doesn’t want him to because he’s the one holding Louis together; fragile threads holding him in place.

~~~~~~~~~~

“It’ll never be enough,” Harry whispers, lips brushing against Louis’s, the salty tears mixing in between them. Louis grasps at Harry’s hips, bunching up his shirt as he tries to pull Harry closer; trying to stall, trying to not let distance come between them.  He needs words; he needs to string them together to make Harry stay, to keep those lips on his forever.

“One more chance, Haz give me a chance.” Louis pulls back, feeling the guilt and the fear lance through his body, and he’s so afraid; desperation settling into his bones as he holds on to Harry tighter. He knows that Harry’s tried so hard to hold it together but he can’t face the fact that Harry is going to leave. He needs that one chance and he needs to make it right.

Harry’s pulling back, stepping away from him and the fear is growing by leaps and bounds. Louis is broken and he knows that but he’s being held together by Harry, fragile threads holding him in place, like  the way Harry is; so gentle and fragile. But it’s keeping him in place and right now Louis feels like the ground is crumbling right from under his feet. He’s so close to the edge, facing the darkness in front of him, but even now with Harry beside him he can breathe, he’s still standing and he doesn’t want to fall.

He doesn’t want to be in a place where he can’t love Harry. He loves Harry and he needs to love Harry, he needs to know that his heart is still beating; that he’s still alive.

Harry’s turned away from him now, facing the window, his shoulders slumped in defeat and Louis is closing that distance of a few steps between them, but not touching Harry though his hand moves almost on reflex towards Harry.

“I’ll try Haz, I’ll try and I promise this time I won’t give it up. Just one more chance love…Please Harry,” he tries to speak through the lump in his throat, his vision fast blurring with tears. “Please don’t go Haz. I’ll try babe, please. I love you so much Haz, so much and I’m selfish, so incredibly selfish asking you to stay but I need you. I love you; I love you so fucking much. I don’t- I don’t even what to say anymore Harry. I hurt you so bad, I’m sorry Haz. I know I keep telling you this…but... This time I-”   Harry doesn’t say a word, his shoulders shaking with silent sobs and in that moment Louis realizes the full extent of what he’s done to Harry.

 He’s broken Harry. Harry, who has always there for him every single night, when he’s come back home so high , so lost in the haze of alcohol, who has kissed away all of his scars, always the one finding him , when his wrists were dripping with blood, who held him when the nightmares were so bad that he was afraid to sleep. He’s broken Harry, who always laughed at every little thing, who fell in love so fast, who gave away so much of himself without even needing to.

The thought makes him weak and he falls, knees hitting the hardwood floor. There is a sharp burst of pain but he doesn’t even realize it, feeling so sick of what he did. Images of endless nights of  Harry crying , begging him to not to leave, Harry with his eyes wide as he looks at Louis’s raised hand, his lip bleeding profusely swim around in his head, and Louis can’t breathe.

Harry was pulling him back, trying to get him back, and even though Louis was pushing him away, he still didn’t give up  through all of it .

But he had gone too far, he had crossed a line when he had hit Harry; white-hot anger blinding him as his body screamed for the next hit. He had fucking hit Harry.

He remains like that- kneeling on the floor, silence stretching between the two of them. Louis can’t even cry now; numbness slowly spreading through his body, as he waits for the inevitable slam of the door. He doesn’t even know how long it’s been, his knees aching from the hard floor but right now- when he’s on his knees in front of Harry, he’s finding it hard to speak, anything to make it all right when he knows it won’t be.

He had gone too far.

He had lost Harry and he could feel himself slipping; the strings already snapping, and he was going to fall apart.

He doesn’t open his eyes, fearful of seeing Harry leave, he can’t take that. But there’s the familiar touch tracing his cheek gently and he dares to open his eyes to find cloudy green eyes staring back at him. Harry’s cupping his face gently and Louis opens his mouth to speak but Harry cuts him off, “Shh…Just don’t say anything,” his lips ghost over Louis’s, hardly even touching. Louis nods furiously, hands automatically linking with Harry’s and he’s content to listen; content to be like this, so close to Harry.

So they stay that way kneeling on the floor, holding onto each other and Louis is content to just be.

~~~~~~~~~

Hello! :) This is dedicated to@gini14 because she’s lovely, lovely and a wonderful person. Hope you like this. This is the sequel to ‘The Last Time’ or again can be read on its own. So yeah, do vote, comment if you liked it. xx