Hold me close {{Larry one-shots and drabbles}}[ON HOLD]

If I could walk on water

Louis is caught between the two hearts he wants and can't let go...

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The very first time  Louis kissed Harry he was drunk, lost in the haze of alcohol but when he pulled back something had shifted inside him. That night had been beautiful, Louis still remembered the flashes of lips hungrily pressing against each other, bodies fitting together perfectly, and he hated that he was drunk that night.

They met again, words hardly spoken, eager to feel each other’s bodies and Louis reckons that it was during these secret meetings that he began to spin this world where everything was different. But then Harry left abruptly, leaving Louis reeling and completely lost.

So he locked up all  of those feelings, and  slowly let himself back into the real world. With Eleanor and the vows he made with her; vows he still intended to honour.  It wasn’t that he didn’t love Eleanor, he loved her- he loved her with her easy laugh, he loved the way she knew him, the way he just felt calm being with her.  But, she wasn’t Harry; she wasn’t the same with her soft brown hair and kind eyes.  But, in a way Harry’s absence made it easier for him to just slowly blur those memories he held.

He was happy; at least he had convinced himself that he was.

Two years later, Harry returned and Louis found himself back in those strong arms. This time, though…the way their eyes met, the way their hands touched was different, gentler, and Louis could feel the way he fell in love with Harry (or maybe he was always in love with Harry, he just hadn’t realized it).

It was exhilarating to be with Harry, the way he felt the boundaries blurring away, the way it was easy for him to imagine that it was just him and Harry, in a perfect world of their own. 

But then there was Eleanor, with her easy laugh and kind eyes, and Louis’s world was split into two again. The lines dividing them glaring bright at times, and just disappearing altogether sometimes and Louis wondered if he was sane anymore.

While being with Harry was falling off a cliff, with the air being knocked out right out of his lungs,  Eleanor made him feel grounded and Louis wondered just how long he could go on like this; loving two people, while splintering himself in between them.

Then once again, like before Harry was gone and even when there  were so many things he wanted to tell, things he wanted to do,  and they all but disappeared as he desperately tried to hold on to the fleeting feeling of Harry’s hand slipping through his.

His heart had been through enough that he didn’t feel much- just a dull, empty thudding in his heart. Maybe, this time he could just wait for his two worlds to collide again, the lines blurring  so that he could just forget himself again, caught between the two hearts he wanted.

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Title from Matt Nathanson's Come On Get Higher. Hope you enjoy!!:)