Hold me close {{Larry one-shots and drabbles}}[ON HOLD]

'Coz you loved him too much and you dived too deep

Maybe he would gain his memory back, the doctors said. Maybe. Louis wonders if they can read the desperation in his eyes that they had to lie, he had been asking them the same question for the past week hoping that they would say something different.  He turns away without another word, the dull, aching pain intensifying with every second.

He walks through the hallways, the white walls blending into one another seamlessly, until it was difficult for him to even make out where one began and the other started. He knew the hospital like the back of his hand; spending close to a month in here had him hating the place even though he knew it was baseless.

He stops outside the door marked ‘124’ and he’s crying. He doesn’t know what to do when Harry looks at him cautiously, his body tensed up as Louis walks into the room, he doesn’t know how to be all right with it, he can’t pretend that it’s fine that Harry doesn’t remember, and he still loves Harry so fucking much that it hurts and he wants to make it all right.

 But he can’t.

So he opens the door, bracing himself for the way Harry’s eyes follow his every move as he steps in. Harry looks much better than he did the past few days, the bruises on his face slowly starting to heal and he doesn’t look that ashen anymore.

“Hey Haz,” Louis says, trying to make it sound like he was cheerful. Harry smiles slightly like he isn’t even sure about that and Louis has to remind himself not to cry. He sits at the far end of the bed, careful to keep a clear distance between him and Harry and fuck, Louis just wants to hug Harry and kiss him, but he doesn’t.

He doesn’t do anything.

He asks Harry if he needs anything and Harry shakes his head, shifting a little on the bed. Louis can feel just how far away Harry is, how he still can’t see any trace of the boy he knew in those green eyes and Louis thinks that it’s never going to be okay anymore. Not when it’s becoming harder to be around Harry, not when every step, every word feels so wrong.

There’s a tense silence between them, a silence that neither of them try to break. The ring in his pocket grows heavier with every passing moment, and Louis doesn’t understand why he carries it around. He’s losing hope too fast; he feels like he’s being pushed to the edge with too much haste and he doesn’t want to. Maybe Harry would wake up tomorrow morning and his eyes would light up the same way they always did when he saw Louis, maybe tomorrow he would be holding Harry in his arms, but it’s becoming too difficult to imagine those things.

So he sits there beside Harry, near him but not quite, feeling like he’s in deep waters and it’s never been so difficult, wondering how he was going to  give back a lifetime of memories when he didn’t know who he was anymore.

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Title from Let her go by Passenger. I did change the 'her' to 'him' *^_^*