They're Only ➵ Divergent Fanfiction

They're Only ➵ Chapter 36

[Tobias] 

Pain is the first thing that registers in the morning and it's not from the banging headache, it's the heartache of knowing that I've screwed up completely when I don't find the love of my life curled up to my side. I swing my feet over the bed and my head chastises me for moving too quick. The smell of cleaning agents filling my nose. 

There is a note on the nightstand from Zeke telling me how stupid I am, and beside it is a glass of water and some Advil. I thank him for visiting me last night, I don't know how he got here or why he was here but I'm glad that he was here. I faintly remember me throwing up on his feet and after that I blacked out. 

I stumble to the bathroom to take a shower and clear my mind. I really want to call Tris and ask if she's okay and where the hell she is. But, she needs her space right now and I need to take a shower because I smell of puke. While I am washing my face, I think about all the things I told Tris last night. And I did all of that because of what? Because I hate when she's around other guys who I know what they want? Because she's for my arms and eyes only? 

Jealousy was nothing that I really battled with until after my mother died. It was like she left me without any warning and I got really possessive of the things I love, because it seems like as soon as I give it my all they leave. So, I fear that Tris will leave me and if I show her how much I love her and I need her, then she will stay. I can't help myself from wanting to wring some guy's next because they glanced at her butt and smirked. 

I got out the shower from what it seemed like hours after I've been in there. I wrap a towel around my waist and stumble my way into the bedroom, not even caring about the droplets of water on the floor. I can't believe that I told Tris to get out, anger and frustration with the persuasion of alcohol made things slip out like word vomit and I couldn't stop it. I kicked my girlfriend out of my apartment― our apartment. She know's that anything of mine's is her's. Everything I said last night probably ruined everything I've built up for the both of us. She might not want to even see me know or even have a future with a jealous f*ck like me. 

After getting dressed in some joggers, a t-shirt, and my shoes I decide to gather my thoughts before I call Tris. My heart hammers quickly against my chest and it brings a quick form of nausea and I decide to just bounce in it, "Hello?" Her voice is small and worried, I know that she doesn't want to talk to me and I want to get out as much as I can before she hangs up in my face. 

"Hi," I let out a sigh of relief knowing that she's safe, she most likely stayed with Christina or went back home but I know her, she doesn't want questioning. I feel so bad for making her go somewhere without me, "Babygirl, you're okay." I state. 

"And tell me why I wouldn't be okay?" Shuffling is heard in the background and I hear the loud roar of waves slowly fading away. She must be at the Navy Pier, "Is it because you kick me out of your apartment or you got drunk because I went out to have fun with someone other than you?" 

I let out a sigh and run my hand through my damp curls, I miss the way her hands would skim my scalp while we cuddled on the couch. Cuddle. Never would have thought of myself who says those types of words, she's changed me for the better and I don't know what I would do without her, "Tris, I apologize for everything I did last night. You know that I don't like you being with other men because you're all mines and you've only been gone for a couple of hours and I can't even function right." I hear nothing on the other end making me continue, "Can you please come back to our home, to me?" 

A short laugh escapes her and it's filled with hurt and sarcasm, "Oh, now it's our home. I'm pretty sure that you told me pretty clearly that it was your's. So, how about you invite people over and have fun, you don't want me there." I hate hearing her like this, the way she spits words scorches my ear with pain, "You had it as your damn New Years resolution, Tobias. You did! And you know what you can't even do something so simple! I'm not going to leave you, I promise. If you keep acting like this then it will leave me no choice because it's unhealthy for not only you but for me. For the both of us."

"I know." I mutter, ashamed of myself. I have to change, and not just for her but for myself. My mother would hate to see me now, "Will you please come back to me?" 

+++

I swing open the door and her fist nearly collides with my face, "You didn't bring your key?" I reach out and pull her in my arms, inhaling her scent and nearly cry at her in my arms. I didn't think she would actually show back up here. I know I really hurt her and I can't believe that she would come back to me but I'm not complaining, "I missed you, I'm so sorry." I lift her into my arms and I feel her legs wrap around my waist. I pull her her lips to mines and relish the feeling of her lips on mines. 

"You made me mad, you don't get any kisses." She pulls away from me with her eyebrows furrowed in anger and sadness, "I'm tired, I couldn't sleep last night. But, I think you need to sleep on the couch." I giggle and walk us towards the bedroom. 

I know that she's still hurting deep down inside and covers it up with sarcasm and fake happiness, we still have a lot to talk about. But, right now, we're too tired to even talk about the drama. It's still tense when I tuck Tris into the sheets of our bed, "I love you," I lean down and kiss her knuckles, each and every one, "I'll sleep anywhere if it means you're close to me." 

She giggles and rolls her eyes, I kiss her lips and she relaxes into the comfort of the bed before she slowly drifts off. What have I done?

-

It's been hella busy for me lately. School is wild and I've been working hard on stories and ideas. So, bare with me. It's the weekend and I'm gonna try my best to whip this up. While I'm at school I'll try and whip up some during lunch or something. Thanks for reading!

NOT EDITED!