They're Only ➵ Divergent Fanfiction

They're Only ➵ Chapter 38

I glance down at my promise ring and can't help but to let out a small, shaky sigh.

Promise. Ring. 

He promised me on that day that he will forever love me and we would get married when the time is right, he promised me that there will always be trust and dedication in our relationship. He promised that we will always be truthful to each other and be patient. It seems like it's all catching up with me, everything that we promised to each other is slowly falling apart. 

Guilt is slowly eating me away at the thought of keeping the information of Matthew kissing me from Tobias. I don't want to lose him and the fact of knowing that when I do tell him, it's strong possibility that once he tells me that he told me so, he would up and leave―I wouldn't know how to handle that.

The sound of the wooden chair scrapes against the floor and I glance up to see my mother smiling back at me. It looks like she's aging more and I can't help but to let a small pang of sadness run through me. Stress is making her look like that despite the young age she is, she really needs to find a new man who would make her happy and give her the attention that she seeks. She gives me a smile and the dimples that my brother and I inherit from her show, her green eyes dancing brightly with excitement. I can see why, now that Tobias is back in town I haven't really seen her much and I missed her, so while Tobias is at work today, I asked my mom if we could meet up at one of our favorite pizza spots, Bartoli's Pizzeria. 

"Hi sweetie!" She gleams and leans across the polished, yet chipped, wooden table and presses a kiss to my cheek, "How are you?" 

I take a sip of my Pepsi that sits in one of the glasses I got from the waiter, "I'm doing great, I really missed you and wanted to spend some time with you." I reach across the table and grab her cold, fragile, hand and rub my hand on her bony knuckles before I place them in the middle of my thighs to warm up, "How are you?" 

"I'm doing great, baby. Work is still work, and life is still life. I went to Susan's ultrasound yesterday, I'm pretty sure she told you all about it. Her mother and father were there as well and it was such a sight to see Tana's face light up with surprise and happiness. Soon, the kids will move into their first apartment. It will need some work but it's nice so far, what else. . ." She drones off as the waiter drops off our pizza and my mom's drink of ginger ale. I ordered myself a pan pizza with spinach and cheese as the base and added on my own sides like onions, green peppers and, Italian sausage. My mom's face brightens as her meat-lovers pizza slides in front of her, "You know me so well." 

On the side we had a small amount of hot wings―mostly for myself since she hates spicy food―and badger style fried cheese balls, she fries and a salad, complaining when I took some of her fries and told me that I was going to gain weight from eating all of this food and it was pretty nice to see her all bright and bubbly instead of drained and sad at the loss of her husband and then knowing that she's going to be a grandmother soon. 

"How are things going on with you and number-boy?" She bites into her pizza and moans making me scrunch up my nose in disgust, "What? This pizza is delicious, but not as delicious as the ones back home." I almost tell her to lower her voice before the workers here us and kill us for saying such a thing. It's bad enough we already have the New York accent. 

"Please, he hates when people call him that," I chuckle at the fact of Tobias holding in his anger if my mother called him that, "We're doing fine. We had a big fight recently." Since I really can't tell Christina about what happened because she's been busy lately and she would make me say every word and we would talk for hours, I can just tell my mom would would give me the best advice. 

Mom finishes chewing her fries and takes a sip of her drink with her eyebrows raised, "And what was it all about?" She questions as she leans back in her chair and I already know that she's crossing her legs under the table, one of her signs to show that's she fully listening to someone when they are about to tell her a lot of information. 

"Well, my friend, Matthew―you know him―asked if we wanted to go to the Navy Pier together and I didn't see any harm in it. He's just one of of my college-buddies and I can't see myself ever falling for him. Anyways, we went and Tobias was pretty mad at the fact that I actually decided to go with him to have some fun. He accused me of not wanting to be with him after not seeing him for so long. He doesn't really have a lot of trust in me, per se, he's very protective of me," I can't help to blush as my mother gives me a smile and wiggles her eyebrows, "But, we went and when I came home he was drunk, like really bad. He didn't hurt me he just sad a few words that did. When I went in his room he told me to get out of his room, not our's. And I know that people say some dumb things when they're drunk or truthful things they can't say while they're sober but it was anger flowing out of him." 

"So, I went to my friends house―well, my friends girlfriend house near M.P. and I stayed there for the night. Honestly, I didn't want to talk and I knew if I went to you, you would ask me questions and I didn't want to be disrespectful. We made up the other day and talked about it yesterday more in depth and solved a few things." I take the final bite of my slice of pizza and start working on my wings and fries while I choose to take the rest of my pizza home for Tobias. 

Mom nods her head slowly like she's processing everything that just ran out of my mouth, "That doesn't sound too bad--" 

"--but, that's not the bad part, though!" I cut her off, throwing my head back since I can't run my sauce covered hands over my face, "Matthew kissed me and I still haven't told Tobias yet." 

"Damn," The profanity falls out of my mother's mouth quickly, "I'm sorry, but that's pretty bad. I know that Tobias is very protective over you and holding this in for what? Almost two weeks? And still not telling you, I'm assuming that he told you that this Matthew guy would try and pull something on you―which he did! And that will give him the space and opportunity to tell you. . . I told you so." 

"I know, mommy!" I groan, wishing that I was a child again and I wouldn't have to worry about boy troubles, or when I have to go in for work and how much did I  make, "I just can't tell him though. If I do tell him he's going to leave me out of anger because there isn't a one-sided relationship and if I don't tell him and he finds out, he's going to leave me." 

Mom places her empty glass on the table and gives me a pitiful look that  I despise, "It's going to be okay, sweetie. If he leaves you than it's his loss, but when you tell him you have to make sure that you tell him everything and you can't hold it in. Tell him how you feel and how you think he will leave you." She places a warm fry in her mouth, "Your father and I went through the same problems, but look where it had put us―married. And you do want to be married right?" 

"I guess so," I mumble, "I just don't know yet." 

Everything is moving so quick and it feels like I'm only going backwards; guilt is eating me away, I have to work, Tobias is going to go to jail when I tell him, my brother's girlfriend pregnant, my bestfriend is working constantly. And here I am, once again stuck in the middle like I'm in quicksand and everything is moving around me. This is worse than missing a day of class, now I have to play catch up and when I finally get there, all hell is going to break loose. 

I'm not prepared for this. 

-

Exhausted. One word. I can't even lift another finger to write another word because I just updated 2 stories while I'm on the verge of falling asleep―hence any typos―and I have school tomorrow to just add on to my spectacular day! Sorry, sarcasm is one of my three languages. Tell me how your day went? It feels like I don't connect a lot with my followers and I really want to know that I love each and every one of you! And I always keep you in mind, hence the horrible update above!

Tell me how school is going so far? If you need tips or anything for grades lower than  me. I'm a freshman. . . I know, so young. Just kidding! But, seriously, you guys know I hate to rant―like I'm doing now. But, don't forget to just click that comment button and leave something purdy!