They're Only ➵ Chapter 46

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[Tris] 

The days flown by, and each day got longer. I was up nights with my window open, listening to the sound of crickets at night. Too soon, it was time for Tobias to be on his way back to college and I didn't know how to feel. We don't have anything resolved and I don't want him to leave me with a broken heart. 

I've just been living in the background of life. While Caleb proposed to Susan and I help out with Tessa, my friends have been coming over and having fun. Some nights we go out partying but I am just physically being there while I am mentally away. 

"So, what time does Four go back?" Susan asks me as she rocks her tired baby to sleep. She's such a natural it's scary. But, Susan has always had the motherly type of spirit even when growing up, at the age of 13, when Caleb broke his arm she used to ask  him if he took his meds. Me on the other hand, I am going to be all over the place when I have a baby.

"He leaves at 4 this afternoon." I sigh, playing with the string of one of their throw pillows from their couch. I don't feel anything towards him leaving unlike last time, I am just numb

"And nothing resolved, huh?" I shake my head at her and she tsks, "Well, maybe before you leave, you just tell him everything you have been telling me." She shrugs her shoulders. Susan is right, that would be great. For the times Christina's too busy to listen to me, while I am helping Susan clean their little place up, I tell her all about how I miss Tobias and how it feels so weird not having him near me all summer. 

"Well, I can't just spit that out, and tell him. We have to get down to the nitty gritty. Even though I do want to tell him that I love him and that I want him in my life." I sigh, "And that we can work through this together, I just can't find the strength to. I am too stubborn and that's what's holding him back too. He knows me and talking to me is just going to make it worse." 

"You don't have long because it's 10 minutes to 3:30." She glances at the clock, "Are you meeting him before he leaves?" I nod my head and slide to the edge of the couch, putting on my shoes. 

I smile and kiss her on the cheek and the blonde haired baby, "I'll call you when I get home." I grab my bag, "Bye!" 

"Bye, and don't feel like you are too good to tell him how you feel." 

I nod my head and walk out of their apartment. 

+++

This summer has been so hot, we've been spending our days down at the beach to cool down but other than that I've been left in the house with my thoughts and that isn't a good mixture for me. 

When I get to my house I see Tobias leaning against his truck with his shades on, looking so irresistibly hot and my mouth instantly waters, "Hey." I mutter walking towards him, standing right there in his presence. 

"Hey." He takes off his shades and stares directly into my eyes, we just stand there in front of each other, "I'm going to miss you." He cuts to the chase and I just stand there looking at him with so many emotions going through my head that I get a headache. 

"I'm going to miss you too." 

So. Many. Unsolved. Issues. 

Awkwardness is just ringing in the air and I nod my head. "Hopefully, when you come back we can work things out." 

"Why can't we work those issues out now?"

"Because Tobias, we have to start from the root of the problem. I think that this is the best choice for right now, a break is something healthy for us. I still love you and claim you as my boyfriend, but we just need this to have some space for each other." 

He looks so hurt but content at the same time, "Well, can I have one last kiss before I go?" He closes one eye, blocking out the sun and tilting his head to the side. 

I walk towards him and stare at him briefly before I lean over and press my lips to his. The moment is something so wanted; like ice cold water in a hot desert or heat in a blizzard. His lips are so smooth and they're like a drug I haven't had in a long time, now I'm hooked on to them. I wrap my arms around his neck as he deepens the kiss and his tonuge brushes along my bottom lip. I sigh in relief when his hand wraps around my waist, but as his hands start to slide to my butt I pull away from him with a sad feeling in my heart, "Bye, Tobias." I give him one last kiss before I back away, "Don't cheat on me! " I joke. 

He gives me a sad smile and gets his last kiss before getting into the car and rolling down his window, "Bye, Tris. I love you, always and don't forget that." 

"I love you too." 

And with that he pulls out of the parking lot and leaves my house, leaves me. It's such a hurting feeling to know that calling him wouldn't be the same because we wouldn't have any summer memories except when he punched my friend girlfriend and I still have yet to tell him about Matthew. I sigh and plop down on my couch and just stare at the ceiling wondering that what I've been doing the whole time, and if it was right. 

For a long time Tobias and I have wondered if we were the ideal couple. Hearing them in the hallways 'They're only together for being popular' 'They're only together because they're forcing each other into the relationship'. Now, we want to be happy on our own terms but it's going to be hard when Tobias is jealous. Hopefully, we can start fresh and all better. But, in all due time. 

The End.

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