The Lion King IV: Kopa's Story (COMPLETED)

Chapter 37

My brain throbbed against my skull relentlessly. It seemed to never grow tired of aching and replaying memories I never wanted to remember again.

I swear it would drive me insane.

I sighed and shifted my head over to my other paw. I didn't want to think anymore or talk to anyone about how I felt or tell them how Vitani was doing. I didn't want to hunt to "run the pain away" or sleep to "at least have a few hours of peace." I saw my son in everything and everyone. Hunting and eating reminded me of the blood and sleeping brought back the moment altogether. I was trapped within myself and I didn't know how to escape it or if I ever could.

All I wanted was to be left alone with my torturous thoughts and not be poked and prodded like some kind of creature they had never seen before. I could handle pain, in my own twisted way, but I could manage this.

"Tanabi," my ears barely twitched at the sound of my name, "Tanabi, are you awake?" I inwardly groaned but after a few seconds of contemplating I raised my head and twisted it around to get a better look at Jama.

"Hello, Jama," my voice cracked. I don't remember the last time I spoke. Her dark eyes were filled with sorrow and a weak smile appeared on her face before she walked over to me and wrapped her arms around my neck in a tight embrace. I withheld my want to cry as she released me.

"You are very strong, Tanabi," She whispered causing me to scoff and fix my gaze on the pebbles spread against the dirt around my paws while I gained enough strength to sit up.

"No, you are," she assured as she lifted my chin with her paw. I sighed and slowly pulled away from her touch.

"How is Vitani doing?" I asked avoiding the compliment altogether as I finally managed to sit up.

"Not as well as you, I am afraid." This time, she looked at the pebbles that seemed to be interesting to look at in a time where words were hard to be exchanged.

My stomach began to churn at the thought of Vitani being alone in that cave. I had sent everyone away after the second week of our mourning. They all retaliated for a few days but eventually and slowly they all collected their families and made their way towards Pride Rock with Simba and Nala to await the birth of their third and final heir.

I suppressed a growl of jealousy. I knew it was wrong of me to feel that way but my heart was too broken to act rationally.

"When will this end?" I asked with my voice cracking towards the end. Jama raised her dark eyes and looked at me with despair.

"Sometimes it feels like pain will never-"

"Please, I don't need another speech. I've heard enough to last me a lifetime. Jama, please just tell me if this pain will ever end so I can go back to sulking in my own self-hatred and you can get back to your tree. " Jama sighed audibly causing her eyes to shut momentarily before she opened them back up.

"Come with me," she said walking past me before I could reject her.

"What about Vitani?" I asked looking inside the dark cave.

"She is taking a well-deserved nap. We won't be long." I shook my head but followed after her. Maybe a walk with Jama is what I needed to clear my thoughts and maybe begin to feel like myself again.

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We didn't speak at all as we walked aimlessly throughout the grassy plains.

Jama was well ahead of me the entire time while I barely lifted my paws to walk. I felt the darkness that I worked so hard to push away begin to consume me once again. I wanted to just drop to the ground and let The Circle of Life take its course. There was no reason to live now. I caused my Pride to leave, the love of my life couldn't even look at me, our child...