Accidentally on Purpose (Completed)

Chapter 40 - Leave

My parents didn't raise me to be sad over someone else. So I'm not sad. I'm just disappointed.

Kasi we're not in high school or college anymore. Hindi na rin kami bata and I didn't expect him to avoid me after that. I just wish he'd deal with the problem like an adult and talk to me instead of avoiding me.

I grabbed my keys to go see Mateo. Sigurado akong alam niya kung anong ganap ng kaibigan niya unless ayaw niyang sabihin sa akin.

Nahanap ko siya sa resto niya and he looks surprise to see me there. "Hey."

"Nagkausap na ba kayo ni Ice? Do you know where I can find him?" I said straight to the point.

"No. Ikaw ang palagi niyang kasama diba." Sa sobrang bait ni Mateo pinagtatakpan niya pa si Ice.

"I just want to talk to him. Please. I just need to know where he is."

He sighed, "Okay. I have no idea where he is. Ang alam ko lang he is in a bar somewhere. Sorry, Tiffs."

"Thanks, Mateo."

Mateo gave me the places na pinupuntahan nila usually pag nagiinom sila. This better be worth it.

xx

Napailing ako nang sa wakas ay nakita ko na siya. Hindi ko napigilan hindi mapangiti. At least magisa lang siya at walang kasamang babae.

Naglakad ako palapit sa stool kung nasaan siya at umupo sa tabi niya. "Hindi ka man lang nagyaya. Ang boring kayang uminom magisa."

"You're here." Parang hindi siya nagulat na bigla akong susulpot dito.

"Yup. Bakit kaya sa dami ng bar dito pa talaga tayo nagkita noh?"

He nodded without looking at me. "Coincidence, you think?"

"Maybe. Who knows?" Nagkibit balikat ako.

Sandali lang niya ako hinarap then tinignan niya ulit 'yung alak niya. Natawa nalang siya sa sinasabi ko because he knew better.

I sighed. "Fine. Pinuntahan ko lahat ng alam kong pinupuntahan mo before I found you here."

Pang limang bar ko na 'to actually. Kahit kailan ay hindi naman ako naging ganito kaeffort para hanapin ang isang tao. Madalas ay hindi ko sila hahanapin kung ayaw nilang magpakita. But Ice is the kind of guy that makes me want to give more effort.

Isa pa, I want answers.

He just smiled a little as a reply.

"If you want to cut me out of your life, the very least you could do is tell me. Para alam ko man lang. Not this. Not avoiding me or stop talking to me." Tinignan ko ang mga display ng bote ng alak sa harapan ko at ang bartender na nagpupunas ng baso.

I sighed. "Ice, I can't figure this out on my own."

"Way back in high school, ang taas taas mo. Almost every girl wanted to be like you. You say whatever you want to say and do whatever you want to do." He smirked. "Who would've thought that this day would come for you."

"What do you mean?"

Tinignan niya ako and I saw something in his eyes. Did he doubted me? That I wouldn't find him? Wouldn't make effort for him? 

"You're afraid. You don't know what to do, do you? Ahh.. and even hesitating.."

Humarap ako sa kanya. "Who said I'm afraid?"

"Didn't you spend a long time just to find me here?" Tumagilid ang ulo niya.

I think he's a bit drunk at hindi ako sanay dahil ngayon ko lang siya nakita ng ganito. But at least he's talking to me.

"He's Isaac Mendoza. He's the guy that I don't even know exists until recently. Bakit naman ako magkakagusto sa kanya?" He points to the air.

I'm just here listening to him. I don't know what's the point of this but I listened anyway.

"Right. But I also wanted to know more of him. Wait, no. How can I like him, right? Pero namimiss ko naman siya." He is referring himself as a third person.

I shifted at humarap ulit sa mga boteng nasa harapan ko. Hindi ako kumportable sa mga naririnig ko dahil at one point 'yan ang naisip ko. How did he know about that?

That's all true. Bakit naman ako magkakagusto sa kanya when the first time we met he's not likable. Pero ngayon natatakot na ako. Dahil alam kong nahulog na ako and I'm afraid that what I'm feeling is more than what I'm capable of. All this shit is scaring me. What am I gonna do if he breaks my heart?

I hesitated at first because I don't know if I can do this. 'Yung magcommit pero  gustong gusto ko naman siya makilala pa. He has this mysterious aura that pulls me to him. And I'm missing him when he's not around. There was not a single time I didn't miss him nung hindi siya nagpapakita.

And I even miss his voice. Is it even possible to like someone this much?

He didn't talk for a while. Ininom lang niya ang alak niya.

"Still, thank you. I really wanted someone with me here."

"Sinong may sabing nandito ako para samahan ka?" I shot him a look. "Excuse me," tinawag ko ang bartender. "I'll have what he's having."

"I know you will never like a person like me."

"Alam mo nanaman."

But it's not totally true. Kahit na gwapo na siya, hindi pa rin maalis sa kanya ang mainsecure. It's not really the appearance that draws me to him I wanted to say. I mean I've had some not so handsome boyfriends before. Hindi naman kaso sa akin kung gwapo ka o hindi. What's important is if you can make me laugh or make me happy.

He might be handsome pero para sa akin ay bonus lang 'yun. To be honest I still prefer someone nice over someone who's handsome and I'm lucky because he have both the looks and the personality.

"If we can start over again. You might want to know that I'm very protective of what's mine. I don't want my girl surrounded by many men,"

I don't like possessive men pero iba talaga pag dating dito kay Isaac. In fact I love the way he's protective of what's his. In that way I know that he doesn't want to lose me.

"And I don't want her looking at other guys too. Call me selfish pero gusto ko nasa akin lang ang atensyon niya. I want to know that she wants me too."

Pumunta ako dito ng hindi prepared sa ganitong pangyayari. And of all places, in a bar?

Damn it, Tiffany wala nang atrasan 'to!

"But for you these things might not be easy." He chuckled, "Okay rin. You can leave habang maaga pa."

Okay rin 'tong lalaki 'to ah! Leave? Ganon nalang 'yun? After everything mukha bang iiwan ko siya ng ganon ganon lang? Kung hindi lang siya nakainom ay sinuntok ko na 'to.

Kung seryoso siya aba seryoso rin ako noh.

Tumayo ako dahil sa inis ko. What the hell is he thinking, he's an idiot if he thinks what he said would scare me away. I'm not gonna let him think that I'll leave him just like that. He didn't look at me because he expected me to go away. After all 'yun ang sinabi niya.

Hindi talaga madali para sa akin dahil sa kaibigan ko pa lang ay puro lalaki na. Hindi ko rin naman sila pwede hindi pansinin pero kaya kong lumayo sa ibang lalaki.

Isa pa, hindi ko hinalughog ang bar dito para lang sabihan niya akong leave.

"Leave? Are you kidding me? I don't know if you'll remember this tomorrow but I won't allow you to say that word hangga't hindi ko pa sinasabi. Do you hear me? Ako lang ang may karapatang magdecide kung kailan ko gustong umalis but for now,"

I cupped his face then just kissed him. "This is my answer."

Now that should shut him up.

This time I know I won't get screwed over again.