Love Me Again

Chapter 28

I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I knew I'm being carried. I open my eyes slightly not wanting to wake up but needing to see what was happening.

I was being carried by someone and I woke myself up to see who it was. I looked up to see that the person was Blake.

I struggled to keep my eyes open wondering why he was here and carrying me. That was until I remember what happened. I stopped struggling and lost all the energy that was left in my body.

All of a sudden, I felt very weak. Knowing I was about to fall asleep, I turned to look at Blake once more. When I glanced up at him, he was already looking down at me.

The last thing I saw was the look in Blake's eyes before I fell asleep again. He was looking at me like I was the most precious thing in his life.

*****

I woke up with a start. I glanced around not knowing where I was for a second, I was still stuck in my dream that I couldn't remember. I glanced around seeing but not seeing what was in the present.

The haze was suddenly lifted and I was able to see again. I realized I was in my room and wondered how I got here. I remember Blake carrying me, but I didn't think he was going to take me to my room. I had no idea where he was carrying me too.

My head was pounding; I had no idea whether it was from the wine or from crying so much last night. I tried to get up to get an aspirin from the bathroom, but when I got up I started to feel dizzy. I sat back down waiting until the pounding in my head died down before getting up again.

I got up slowly still feeling the effects of a headache. I went to the bathroom searching the cabinets for the aspirin and took two when I found the bottle. Then, I continued with my normal morning routine.

When I was finished, I walked down the stairs to get something to eat when something crossed my mind, Blake. We stayed up late talking, well more like yelling. He was the one to put me to bed, but what happened after he laid me down.

Did he stay or did he leave? Would he contact me or would he never want to speak to me again? I had no answers to my questions, but I knew if I found Blake I would have my answers.

I walked down the stairs looking to see if by chance Blake had spent the night at my house. I was secretly hoping he did stay, so we would have a chance to talk about what we discussed last night. But then again, I hoped he didn't stay last night.

I swore to myself that I would never be weak for a man; I would never be vulnerable in front of a man again. I would never give a man my heart and wait for him to break it. I would never fall to my knees and praise the ground he walked on. I swore this to myself, yet I was already doing just that.

Blake did all this to me. He made me vulnerable, weak, obedient. I worshiped the ground he walked on. I gave him everything, and he broke my heart. He destroyed it.

Yet, I couldn't stop my heart from skipping a beat when he walked into the room. I couldn't stop myself from wanting to see him, to talk to him, to be around him. Now, it was worse since I now know the truth.

I looked for Blake all over the first floor; I looked for him in every room but didn't find him. My last hope was the kitchen, the only place I haven't checked yet.

I walked in with a smile on my face thinking Blake could be in the kitchen cooking me breakfast like he did when we were in love.

But as I stood in the kitchen, I knew that wouldn't happen since Blake wasn't even in the kitchen. He didn't stay. I mistook his kindness for him caring and that was one of the biggest mistakes.

I thought I was done hoping for anything, done caring about people who didn't care for me. But I was wrong, I did care.

When I didn't see Blake, I realized I wasn't the bitch I tried to convince myself and everyone I was. I was the same girl I was when I married Blake. But unlike that girl, I wasn't naive enough to believe in happily ever after. There is no such thing as a happy ending; those are only in fairy tales and books.