Love Me Again

Chapter 42

I woke up dazed wondering where I was. I looked around and saw the little meadow. I finally remembered why I was here.

I looked beside me and saw Blake still sleeping. He looked so peaceful that I didn't want to wake him up. I got up moving around as I felt how stiff my body was from sleeping on the ground the whole night.

I looked back at Blake and smiled. Even after everything I said yesterday, he was still here. He even took care of me after I fell asleep. He was kind enough to wrap a blanket around me.

The simple gesture was everything to me. It's been so long since someone has taken care of me. It's been so long since I let someone take care of me.

I walked to the edge of the cliff looking out into the ocean. I had forgotten how peaceful it was here. How all my worries and problems would disappear when I was here. I had forgotten why I had even come here, but now I remembered.

I continued to stare out into the ocean until a rustling interrupted the quiet. I turned around to see Blake getting up. I was still staring at him when he looked up and meets my eyes.

Blake slowly got up and started to gather our stuff. I helped him pick up our stuff and as I collected our stuff I didn't question him. He probably had better things to do other than staying here with me the whole day.

We silently put everything back into our cars. I finished shoving all my things in the trunk of my car, so I turned to look at Blake. Instead of finding him pushing all our crap into his car, I found him already looking at me.

I was so confused, "What are we doing Blake?"

"Take me to her."

He had only said one sentence, four words. I froze hearing that one sentence. Even if it was only four words, I understood everything. I understood the meaning of his words. I knew who he was talking about. There was only one person he could be talking about.

I nodded and simply walked to my car. I started to drive. The only thought circling my mind was that she would finally have the chance to meet her father.

******

I slammed the door shut as I arrived at our destination, the cemetery. I leaned back on my car as I waited for Blake. It finally processed that I was here. Blake was finally going to meet his little girl.

Before I had the chance to react to my thoughts, I heard a door slam startling me. I heard his footsteps, so I waited until he was in front of me until I started to talk.

"Her grave is in the fourth row, right by the weeping willow tree."

I didn't look up, I didn't need to. I knew where her grave was, I could find her even if I was blindfolded. I knew he heard me so when I didn't hear him move I was confused until he spoke up.

"Aren't you going to see her?"

I shook my head, "No. You need to have the chance to see her by yourself."

I lifted my head as I heard him walking away from me. I watched as he moved through the graves focusing on the names on them. I knew when he finally saw her's. It was like he couldn't move. It was like he was frozen in time.

I didn't move to comfort him. This was his time with her. I could see him processing everything like he was in a business meeting. But I knew he wouldn't be able to understand this, it wasn't business. It was the real world.

This was the world that took away lives. We lived in a world where children died and left their parents heartbroken. It was a world that didn't worry about who would get hurt in the end.

I saw when Blake finally broke. I watched as he fell onto his knees and let his tears fall. He bowed his head and I saw his lips move.

This wasn't the Blake who hurt me, who broke me. This wasn't the man who cheated on me. He wasn't even the CEO every person feared.

Instead, I saw a man who had lost his child. I saw a man who had just found out he had a child that he would never meet. A daughter he would never be able to see grow up.

I didn't care about our past at that moment. All I cared about was that he was the father of my dead child.

*****

Blake had spent almost an hour talking to our child and crying. I didn't know what he said and I didn't even care. He was finally grieving.

I knew he had to let it all out. He needed to let it out before it crushed him. Like her death had crushed me.

Blake stood up once he was ready, wiping off his jeans. He walked towards me and stopped in front of me.

"What are we doing Blake?"

It sounded harsh even to me. He did just meet his dead daughter, but I had to know. I had to know what was happening between us.

He shrugged and walked away, coming to stand by a little meadow that was close to us. I was even more confused. Why did he just shrug my question off?

I walked to him placing a hand on his shoulder when I was close enough.

His head turned towards me, "Why are we doing this Blake? If this is only for closure then tell me. I need to know because I can't go through this all over again."

Blake was now fully facing me.

"I can't wait for you anymore," I paused as I plastered a smile on my face.

"I can't wait for you to finally notice me. To finally love me. I don't know if I would survive again. I don't know if I could survive if my heart can survive that again."

There was a silence after the mini-speech I gave. Blake just stared at me, making me nervous. Blake finally spoke after what felt like a lifetime.

"I will never do that to you again. I once lost the most precious jewel in the world and I'm not going to lose her again. I was once stupid to push her away until she finally left. But that won't happen, I won't ever let you go.'

Blake pulled me into a hug. He wrapped me in his arms, holding me as tight as he could. He whispered how he won't leave me and how he would treat me better. But what caught my attention was when he whispered into my ear that he loved me and always will.

At that moment, I knew. I knew we would be okay. That no matter what happened in the future, we would be fine.