Love Me Again

Chapter 40

I took a deep breath needing a moment to collect my thoughts. I also needed to find a place to start knowing I needed to answer all the questions Blake has. I knew we had already discussed what happened when I was blackmailed, but I knew that was where I had to start.

I had to start way before then when everything started to go wrong. I had to start when we got married and everything that happened then. Everything I thought during the early part of our marriage.

"I guess it all started when we got married." I looked towards Blake.

He looked confused as I began. He was probably wondering why I was starting at that time.

"It was amazing don't get me wrong, but it changed everything. To be clearer, it started when you cut our honeymoon short."

I looked away knowing Blake was probably hurt by my statement. I didn't stop though. He needed to know what I thought. What it was like for me? Not only the married life but being married to a billionaire.

"I was upset. I mean any bride would be if their honeymoon was cut short. I understood why you had to. You had a problem with your business, so I didn't complain. I knew even if I complained you would still have to go back. It would only cause an argument between us, so I shut my mouth."

I felt a tear drop down my face, but I ignored it and continued.

"I knew what was expected of me as the wife of a billionaire. I knew you wouldn't be around me all the time, I knew it all. It just finally hit me when we had to leave so soon. "

I shook my head knowing I had to get on with it. I was going in too much detail. If I continued talking like I was, I would never finish.

"When we got home, I waited. God, I waited. I waited for you to come home. I waited for when you had time to spend with me, but you never had time. I was alone with no one to talk to."

I saw the pain in Blake's eyes and knew it reflected the pain in my eyes.

"You were growing distant and all I wanted to be was for us to be close again. I tried what I could, but all I saw was you growing closer to other women. I came to your work to try to have lunch with you one day, but when I got there I saw you were already having lunch with another woman. I was able to catch that it was your assistant. I was going to interrupt, but when I got close enough I lost all thought of interrupting. She was too close to you, and when I took a second glance I realized she was on your lap."

I felt a hand grab mine and when I looked it was Blake. He was trying to comfort me, but I didn't want any comfort from him. I pulled my hand out of his.

"From then on it was always the same. You didn't come home. If you did, you would always come home with a girl. I felt helpless in all of this. I didn't even know what to do. I loved you so much and I kept thinking that it was my entire fault. That you had to look for another woman because I wasn't giving you enough."

Blake interrupted, "It wasn't your fault. It never was. I was just a jackass that couldn't realize what an amazing person I had until you were gone."

I laughed out loud as I smirked at him.

"You don't think I know that now. I was too in love with you before to realize it."

I continued, "My schedule was the same every day. I got up every day at six to make you breakfast, that you would never eat. I would have it on the table when you came down, but you wouldn't even glance at it or me when you walk right out the door. I would then iron your clothes for the next day, clean the house, and go to get the groceries for dinner. I would come home and immediately start cooking dinner. I would finish putting it in the oven to keep it warm."

I laid down on the ground, "Like the idiot I was, I would then sit in the living room waiting for you. I would wait for you until I fell asleep on the couch. I would wake up to a dark house in the middle of the night. I would go up to my room and cry myself to sleep."

I stared at the stars wondering how they could be so bright. I wish I could be a star, always shining bright even when they were down.

"That's why I got a job, so I wouldn't have to sit around waiting for someone who could care less about me. That is when the blackmailing started. You know what happened, but you don't know the whole story."

Blake leaned over me confused, "What are you talking about? I heard the story from both the police and you. How could there be more to the story?"

I blinked, "I told you and the police what happened, but I didn't tell you the emotional part of it. I didn't have to work that hard. I had a good-paying job, and I would have made the money I needed without all the extra hours. I even had most of the money saved up."

"Then, why did you work all those extra hours if you didn't need to?" Blake asked.

"I wanted to make a couple of extra thousands. I had the money saved to get us a week away. I asked for extra hours to be able to pay for our vacation. It was supposed to be your birthday present. I made enough to pay the blackmailer and to pay for your birthday present. I paid the blackmailer off and I paid for everything, the vacation, and all the expenses."

I was wondering if he remembered what came next. As I looked at his face, I could tell he knew what came next.

"I gave you an envelope with the plane tickets and a note explaining everything. I even asked France if he could take over your business for a week so we could get away. He even agreed to say how much you needed it."

I felt my heart tear a little as I said the next part, "I packed for the both of us and when I came to get you I found you gone. I called the airport to see if you were there waiting for me, but you weren't. They said you had already left with another woman. But that wasn't the worst part."

I cried a little more, for me and my baby girl.

"I gave you a present along with the envelope if you can remember."

Blake nodded, "I remember the present."

I laughed but it held no humor, "You knew what was in the present but you left. You still left. Not only did you leave, but you left with another girl."

I felt the tears pouring down my face, "You knew I was pregnant but you still left."