Love Will Make You Stay

Stay With Me

As Stefanie Marie Foster sat at her desk all she could do was daydream.  In fact daydreaming had become quit the habit as her mind continued to drift to one person and one person only. Lena Adams. To the cops  surprise  the curly haired woman was definitely finding a spot in her heart more then she could ever realize. Truth was it wasn't the friendship spot that Lena was occupying or the acquaintance spot.  It was that one spot that could change a persons life. It was that one spot that could melt your heart.  It was that one spot for love and it had taken her weeks to come to terms with the truth that she had fallen so deeply in love with the sensitive woman.   More then she had ever been in love with anyone before. It wasn't just her smile, the way she smelled, it was so many things. Lena was understanding, a real comfort, loving, trusting, and the kindest soul she ever met. She enjoyed her company more then anything as Lena seemed to bring out her best qualities and sides of her she never knew existed. Sadly, no matter how much she wanted to confess her feelings she knew it was not possible for her to act on them for fear of ruining their new friendship and for the sake  of the girls. Suppressing them and hoping they would fade away was the only solution.

Coming out of her thoughts Stef glanced warmly at the  photos of Callie and Mariana that lined her desk from various outings and events.  In her eyes she couldn't believe that nine months had already passed since the two little girls had come into her life completely flipping it upside down in more ways then one. Stef was no longer just a cop. Not at all.  She was now a mother, a best friend, a therapist, a problem solver and all of the above. Long gone were the days and nights of hanging out with the guys until nearly 3am getting wasted, playing pool and gambling, long gone were the nights of casual one night stands with women that left her feeling empty,  and long gone were the days of her being alone for she didn't even know what that felt like any longer and had no interest in remembering it. Her days were now filled with trips to Costco, Trader Joe's, the cleaners, Toys R Us, the pediatrician, cleaning up spills, figuring out how to get the grape juice stain out of the carpet, nursing colds and bad dreams, and leaving work early to see Mariana's ballet recitals and Callie's gymnastics competitions. It was filled with continuing to support Lena in more ways then one as she continued to make daily progress.  But it was no secret that she would still need a tremendous amount of care and at least another week in rehab and  after pleading and almost insisting with the curly haired woman she had convinced her to move in. That had been no easy task for Lena found it very hard to agree but she knew she was in no position to take care of the girls alone.  Admitting this to the blonde had been difficult and she harbored a large amount of guilt about it for this woman continued to bend over backwards for her and the girls.  She knew Stef must be beyond exhausted, anyone would be, but the blonde would not take no for an answer. 

"Lena, do you really think I'm going to let you be on your own ? I thought you knew me better then that." Stef laughed as she sat next to the slim woman on the bed rubbing her back. 

"No. I just, I can't keep asking these things of you Stef. It's not fair."

"Asking what things of me. You aren't asking me for anything I'm offering." She said softly. "Besides where would you go? Tell me love. Back to that house? You still need help once you get out of here. You know this yes?"

"I know I do. It's just. I don't know Stef." She said looking down.

 "It's just what? What is it love?" The blonde continued to rub her back as she could clearly see how hard it was for Lena to admit what she needed to admit as she now affectionately held her hand gently rubbing it. It was a gesture she had come to do almost daily and one Lena took in with all her heart. She  knew it wasn't meant to be anymore then an expression of how much the blonde cared but she liked it. And she liked the way it made her feel. But she would be lying to herself if she said part of her wasn't attracted to the blonde. Almost daily she struggled with it not really understanding it. All she knew was that each day Stef was more beautiful then the last. If they moved in together then what? She would ignore it maybe and hope it was just a phase and would go away.