I Promise You

(26) Don't Wanna Break Your Heart

Summer break. Finally! No more wearing clothes that are way too big for me and no more pretending not to be pregnant. In case you were wondering, I still haven't changed my mind. I couldn't be a mom, not now. Not with 15. Almost no one knew. Just my parents, Caleb, Keeley, Evie and Ronnie. Keeley was still living with us, since she still couldn't face her parents. My parents had still no idea who Keeley really was.

"Hey Jake" I said into my phone, smiling. "Hey babe, I miss seeing you. Why can't we skype?" He asked and I was afraid of that question, so I had some answers thought out to the smallest detail "Internet isn't working that well. Keeley and I tied to watch Netflix this morning and after an hour we just gave up" I lied. "Too bad..." He said a little disappointed.

"If I wouldn't be stuck on this business trip of my father, I would be in Morrison Creek in a heartbeat" He said and I felt bad. "It's okay Jake, you're coming at the end of the summer and that's good enough. I'll get to see you again and I can't wait, but I will" I said and he laughed. "I don't know if I can wait that long" He said and I smiled to the ground "You will survive it" I said and noticed Keeley standing in the door frame "I gotta go. Keeley and I are going to the movies. We still want to watch something" I told him. "Okay, have fun. I love you" He said. "Thanks, you have fun too and I love you too" I said. "I doubt it" He said and I laughed, then hung up.

"I can't stand lying to him. I can't stand being away from him!" I said and she sat down beside me "There is always the truth" She said and I laughed "Definitely not! His father will think I'm a gold digger that claims to be carrying his son's child! I can't let him think that! Jake can never know! Not now and not in a million years!" I told her and she sighed "I know"

"I have been thinking..." I said and looked at her "About what?" "Jake and I... London was perfect, but maybe that's all it should have been. London. I'm 15, pregnant from my boyfriend who I'm having a long distance relationship with. If things were different, maybe they could have worked out, but not like this. I need to break up with him. Set him free. I can't spend my life missing him" I told her and she sighed.

"I'll be there for you, no matter how you will decide" Keeley said and I thanked her.

"Hey.." Evie said as she entered my room followed by Ronnie. "Hey you two" I said and hugged both of them. "What's going on?" Ronnie asked. She noticed that something was off. "Promise wants to break up with Jake" Keeley told them and they looked at me "Are you sure about this? I mean, you love him don't you?" Ronnie asked and I nod. "I do, but... He's hours away. This will never work. It can't work" I said and sat down on my bed. "I wish I could tell him face to face, but looking like this it's impossible. I'm gonna text him. I just need to think about what I want to say. I don't want to break his heart that bad"

"Honey, that boy loves you. He will be heartbroken either way" Evie said and sat down beside me, putting her arms around me. "I hate it..." I said and laid my head down on her shoulder "Why always me?! First I date my brother and the next boyfriend I have knocks me up! You think you have bad luck with guys Evie, well what do I have? It's even worse" I told them.

"I think we should get you out of here" Evie said. "What do you mean? I can't leave the house!" I told her. "Out of town. Other side of the country" She said and I wasn't sure about it "I can't" I told her "I need to stay in town. All the arrangements are already made to get the baby out of me via c-section as soon as I get into labor. Without anyone finding out about it" I said.

"Aren't you at least a little excited about the baby?" Evie asked, but I told her no. I wasn't excited, I didn't want the baby. Of course I have been thinking about names already, because they told me that I had the chance to name it. I told them I would like that, but I wasn't sure if I really wanted that.

"Keeley, can you give me my phone?" I asked and she nod, then handed it to me.

Hey Jake,

I thought about this for a long time. How to tell you, but I couldn't come up with the right way. Probably there isn't even a right way. I don't want to break your heart, but there is no other way. London and Paris was perfect. A dream, but that's all it was. A dream. A break from reality. I did love you and I still do, but I can't stand missing you any longer and we both know that we can't just go and visit each other. We are both still in school. I wish things were different, but they aren't. They are too difficult and I can't spend my day missing you. I need to move forward and this is the only way I could do it. Goodbye Jake. I'm sorry, but I have to break up with you.

I took a deep breath before hitting send. I immediately turned my phone out and put it underneath my pillow and started crying. Keeley, Evie and Ronnie immediately knew what I had just done and started to comfort me.

Writting those words were hard, but it was the only way to handle this situation. He can never find out about the baby and that was the only way to do it.