How He Caught Me [COMPLETED]

Gone Was His Beautiful Smile

SAM'S POV

Black.

I walked through a sea of black.

I was apart of this sea.

I wore black.

We, a black sea united in mourning.

Mourning for the life lost.

Mourning for the boy whose smile was able to light up a room.

For the boy whose eyes told their own story.

For the boy who lost his life chasing after his skewed idea of love.

As I walked toward the casket I saw him, his cold lifeless body lying there. I began to shed tears for the life that was lost. For future that was never to be had. For the love he never got to experience.

I stood in front of him, looking down at him for a moment. Remembering the first time I saw him. How back then he seemed like a fantasy and how he now lay here before me; very lifeless, very real.

I could never love anyone the way I love Jamie, but I felt something for Harry. I think it was pity, maybe guilt? I feel sorry that I couldn't give him the love he wanted, the love he deserved. I think the problem was not only that I am and forever will be in love with Jamie but also, that Harry's idea of love was violent, it was demanding, dominating, almost abusive. I don't think I've met someone in my life that is more broken than me. I guess that's why I felt a bond with him. Because I know what it is to be broken and I guess I thought I could help fix him. But I failed, I failed him.

Because of me he was there that night. Because of me he was shot. Because of me he is dead.

Jamie and my therapist keep telling me that it's not my fault. But how can they tell me that when his death was caused by no other person than me. I can't blame Peter he's insane. He is going to spend the rest of his life in prison. But I will spend my life walking among my fellow members of society expected to not feel, not show, the guilt that engulfs me.

I felt someone nudge me and I realized that I had somehow found my seat again. I could see nothing else but Harry's body. The nudging comes again and I turned. Jamie was sitting next to me, also in black.

" Anne said she would like you to speak, since you were the last person to talk to him alive and she know how much you meant to him" He said.

" Um.. okay" was all I was able to spit out. Nerves raked my body. I wasn't ready for this, I didn't prepare but, I owe it to Harry.

I walked up to the podium and said

" I knew Harry for a very short time but, in that short time I grew very close to him. Harry was incredibly caring and kind. He was funny and had such a love for life. He was such a talented person and all he wanted to do was to share this talent with the world"

I paused for a moment thinking about what the tabloids had said about him. How they made him a monster. Somehow the police report of what happened that night got leaked to the media.

On all the front covers were headlines like " HARRY STYLES: RAPIST" or " HARRY STYLES KILLED IN RAPE ATTEMPT"

He wasn't a rapist, he wasn't killed in the middle of such an awful act. He was confused. He didn't know that love didn't just mean sex. He didn't understand that me not wanting to sleep with him wasn't a rejection of his feelings for me. He thought he was denied the love he so desperately wanted and when you get to such a low point of desperation, how can you not want to take what you want most? He thought lust equalled love. He thought passion was all love could be. The poor boy died before being able to ever truly experience love.

So call me crazy but, I don't blame him. I will defend the fact that he did not try to rape me until the day I die. So I continue...

" Despite what the tabloids said about that awful night, Harry was truly a hero. He was never the monster they say he was. And because I never got to thank him, I want to thank you Anne. I said as I looked toward a tearful mother who lost her son.

" Your son saved my life that night. I'm so sorry that he sacrificed his life in the process but, he gave me the most precious gift of another shot at life. I promise you I won't waste it. I will live my life in honor of Harry because he has taught me how precious life truly is. In sacrificing his life he gave me and Jamie the chance to bring new life into the world" I said as I looked down at my stomach.

" And our child will grow up knowing that they were born because Harry Styles made the biggest sacrifice of love possible for me, for Jamie, and for them". I walked down from the podium and took my seat once again. Anne who was sitting in front of me turned and said

"Thank you Sam. Loving you was the only love Harry ever got to experience. And I know that you love Jamie but thank you for changing my son's life, for being in his life. I know that loving you made his life worth living".
We left the funeral feeling sad, extremely sad but, there was an overwhelming feeling of love, love for the man that was Harry Styles.

JAMIE'S POV
I know what you may be thinking. Why haven't I proposed to Sam?
I haven't because the night that I planned on ended up being impossible.
Sam can't know when I plan to do this. It has to be a complete surprise.

 But, it's hard for me to leave her. Ever since what happened with Peter, I have a hard time leaving her side. Especially since we know we have a baby on the way now.

I was able to get as far as Domino's that day I had Carina take Sam to the Mall. I knew that I couldn't do this on my own so turned back. 

I called Sam to see how she was doing. She told me that Carina and her were shopping for baby stuff. Just the thought of that made me smile. We agreed to meet for lunch in an hour. Which gave me more than enough time to make a few calls and set everything up. I couldn't set it up for today because today was the funeral. But, tomorrow will be the day that I ask Sam to be my wife. 

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Hey Lovelies, 

This was an incredibly long chapter (for me at least) so I hope you like it. I'm sad that Harry had to be taken out but there is happiness to come I promise. Remember to vote and comment. 

Love, 

            Sophia <3