I Still Love The Liar (On-going/Editing)

CHAPTER 43:

Bangungot......

I head straight into my room, I heard Bryan calling but I didn't give a damn to turn to him. Bago pa man siya makapasok sa kwarto ko ay nilock ko na ang pinto, I just want to be alone for now, I am hurt and no one can define how really hurt I am right now.

I'm a disgrace, I am a fucking one. Bakit ba hindi na lang ako namatay sa aksidente? Bakit ba binuhay pa Niya ko? Tears are escaping my eyes, I throw myself in the bed and stare at the ceiling. This is my family, this is were I should belong, but right now, I felt like a total stranger, I felt like I didn't knew myself anymore. I loved them so much, I love Tita Sally and I love Tito John, they were like parents to me and God know's that.

Pero ngayon galit silang lahat sa akin. They think that I am ruining them, is it true? Am I a poison that should be thrown away and burnt till I'm gone?

I stood up and grab my phone, I dialed Nathan's number. And in just one ring, he's already in the line.

" H-hello?" I stammered.

( Zoe?)

He said, concern was written in his voice.

Moments passed but I did not say even a single word, all I can hear is his breath on the phone and my sobbing. I want to clear my throat before answering.

( Are you crying? Dammit, what happen? Come on baby, tell me.)

Hindi ko na napigilan pa ang sarili ko, napahagulgol na ako, ngayon ay para na akong kinakatay na baboy dahil sa lakas ng pag-iyak ko. I can't keep a hold on myself anymore. Gusto kong ilabas lahat ng nararamdaman ko, I want somebody to comfort me. I know that this is wrong, hindi ko pa siya masiyadong kilala para maging attached ng ganito sa lalaki, but what can I do? Galit sakin ang MTH at maging si Tito John. Nariyan si Bryan para damayan ako, pero kapag ginawa ko yun siguradong pagmumulan na naman ako ng away ng magkapatid.

(Fuck it Zoe, answer me, what happened?)

Sigaw niya sa kabilang linya.

" My existence is a mistake." I sobbed.

( What are you saying?)

" Siguro kung may tunay lang akong pamilya, siguro may magmamahal sakin ng totoo. May mag-aalaga sa akin at magsasabi na magiging okay din ang lahat." Tears kept falling, basang basa na ang suot kong damit dahil sa mga patak ng luha. My head is throbbing like hell,  but I didn't mind. All I want to do is to shout and hurt myself more so that in the end I will be numb and not able to feel anything anymore.

( What did they do to you?)

I sense the danger in is cold tone. His breathing is much deeper now like he is calming himself.

" Sorry for bothering you Nathan, its just that I-I need someone who can hear me out." Sabi ko sakanya. Sapat na ang mga taong nadadamay sa nangyayari sa buhay ko, I don't want to drag him into my messed life and get him involved. Ayokong sa bandang huli magalit din siya sa akin dahil nasisisra siya ng dahil sa akin. Malas ako at ayoko ng idamay pa siya sa kamalasan ko, dapat bago ko pa siya tinawagan ay naisip ko na to. I am wrong again.

( Fuck them all!)

Narinig ko na sinabi niya, mahina lang yun pero hindi yon nakatakas sa pandinig ko. Nangunot ang noo ko sa gawi niya? Is he angry? But why? I did not mentioned anything to him about what happened? Is he a psychic? He can read minds?