Esta Vez (This Time)

Kabanata 26

PAKIRAMDAM ni Selry ay huminto ang pag-ikot ng mundo. Tila rin siya nabingi sa tanong na winika ni Carlos. Her heart beat eratically inside her chest. She was too estatic of what just happened.

One moment Carlos was confessing again, the next he was asking her to marry him.

As Cecilia.

Gayunpaman ay tagos iyon hanggang sa sarili niya mismo bilang si Selry.

It was not her dream proposal, she had a much more dramatic and solemn one, but who cares? It still left her speechless. She just stared at Carlos. Noon lang din niya napansin na tumigil na sa pag-agos ang mga luha niya. It left a tear-stained cheeks.

Nanatiling tikom ang kanyang bibig. She tried open her mouth and speak but shut it again when no words came out. Madali lang naman sabihin ang salitang 'oo' pero bakit ba nahihirapan siyang isatinig iyon? She felt her head hurting that she could not nod to answer him.

Dang!

Nabanggit ni Cecilia na malapit na siyang makabalik. So, would her answer to Carlos still matter? It still do because she was to leave everything in place for Cecilia. Pero, gusto niyang si Cecilia mismo ang sumagot sa katanungan ni Carlos. She wanted them both to do so. Afterall, sila ang magsasama through the years.

She then remembered Timothy with what Carlos had done. Isa ang pagluhod na iyon sa pinaka-memorable at the same time ay pinakamasakit.

That was the moment when she realized that she had fallen in love with Timothy, no matter how hard she tried to stop and hide it. Something na binaon niya at hinayaang yumabong sa nakalipas na labing-tatlong taon, kahit pa sa huli ay hindi rin nito kayang suklian ang pagmamahal niya.

Loving Timothy wholeheartedly was the biggest regret she had. Had she not met him and fell in love, maaaring ibang Selry ang naging resulta niya sa paglipas ng panahon.

Someone who was far from the broken-hearted, insecure and stuck in the past Selry.

Siguro ay kailangan na niya ng closure, kahit para sa side niya. Maybe, as soon as she gets back in her own time, she must arrange the overdue meet up Timothy wanted. Kailangan na niyang tanggapin na wala ng pag-asa ang damdamin niya. That he just, all those agonizing thirteen years, considered her nothing else but as a friend.

Which is so ouch, Selry!

Kasalanan din niya dahil pinaasa niya ang sarili.

"Cecilia, mahal ko." She heard that hauled her out of her thoughts. Tears streamed down her cheeks again. Mabilis na tinuyo niya ang mga luhang bumasa sa kanyang pisngi gamit ang mga palad.

Gahd, Timothy! Bakit ba ganito ang epekto mo sakin?

She closed her eyes then counted one to five. Hinamig niya ang sarili sa pag-iisip kay Timothy. Nasa 1895 pa siya, kailangang ang panahong ito muna ang isipin niya.

Cecilia, ikaw na dapat ang sumagot nito. Bakit kailangang ako pa? Mahal ka ni Carlos eversince. Why do you have to make it all hard for me?

She opened her eyes. Tumingin siya ng diretso sa mga mata ni Carlos. Chocolate eyes met hers with an expectant look. He was waiting for her answer. Napalunok siya.