Esta Vez (This Time)

Story Inspiration

Kung nababasa mo ito ngayon. Then I could say you had reached the end.

Thank you for reading this story!
Banzai!

😘♥️🎉

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The Idea:

This story started with a dream that freaked the shit out of me.

🔸I woke up coughing and at the height of my fever. I was completely blankly staring on the ceiling and thinking why the hell must first love be my future husband!

It was just a dream but bugged me. I wanted to defy that! Hindi pwedeng siya ang future husband ko 😂 (ayoko na, mashaket!) I just utterly wanted to forget the guy.

🔸A dream from the past re-occured again. The woman (who turned out as my college bff because she finally showed me her face years after when I met her in college. That perhaps was the reason why we instantly hit it as bffs), the guy who she was to marry in my dream (who was still left as a mystery up to now), and me on a large hall adorned with gold painted chandeliers, wall with mix of gold and red paint. People are happily dancing on a classical music, some doing chatters in a language I was not familiar of but could understand (atleast in the dream). They are in their best dress that clearly defined their place in the society.

It seemed like bff and me loves the same blurred face guy (whoever he was).

🔸Then other dreams that would include the three of us, either blurred face guy was standing under a tree away from us or just an arm's length but his back facing me.

🔸My wishful thinking of if I could turn back the time, I'd definitely avoid ever meeting first love moments. I just deeply regret ever meeting him. 💔

🔸My obsession with the time that had passed and the change I wanted to make.

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Characters:

Some of the characters have real life counterparts. I just modeled them to people around me. To somehow have the real feel even if the story characters are fictional.

Selry and Cecilia are the present and past me. The past me was a wreck, my suicide attempts did not not push through. God loves me so much that He had sent those people who had saved me from those attempts. The present me still stumble on the hurts and regrets but does the best possible way to move forward and let go of the past.

Sel was the last syllable from my second name and Ry came from the last syllable of my first name.

Timothy, Rafael and Carlos was my first love, my unrequited love, the one who became my yardstick of my ideal man.

Corazon was a combination of bff and my little sister whom I envied the most.

Sebastian and Francisco my little brother.

Ynarez family was modeled after my ancestors (up to now, marami pang secrets na unti-unting nabubunyag, one of those was sort of a classified part of the family na ayaw ng balikan ng mga nakakaalam but Papa slipped off😂 (a branch family member's death). I was glad to be able to hear my grandpa's kwento about the family and the past when he was still alive sa father's side.

Quinto Family was inspired from my mother's family I was not that close to. Up to now, hindi ko kilala ang karamihan sa mga pinsan ko sa mother's side. I just know my aunties and uncles.

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Setting and Location:
- 1895 Spanish Era Philippines.
- Salcedo, Sta. Cruz, Ilocos Sur. (Forgive me for using the place as the location of the story. I intend it to be Paoay where our family ancestors came from before settling to Nueva Ecija.) I just fictionalized everything so I think the Sta. Cruz I described was different from how the place looks like in reality.
- Vigan, Ilocos Sur.

Pacawanen dac amin. Aytoy qet inspiracion lang iti panagsurat.

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Summary:
The dreams, my wishful thinking, life issues and my goal of leaving the past behind was the reason why this story happened. I hope THIS TIME, I could move forward and make peace with the past I can never ever change.

😂