Esta Vez (This Time)

Kabanata 30

SELRY was walking in a grand hall with enormous pillars lined along the path. Those were decorated with vines that looked like gold. Around them was an endless sea of clouds.

But the scene stealer was the radiant light at the end of the hall. Kahali-halina iyon habang pinagmamasdan niya mula sa kinaroroonan. There was that urge to be basked into the comfortable, freeing and calming rays it was emitting. A promise of forever happiness was what she could feel.

Something she so longed.

It had that kind of effect that could wash everything: the pricking pain in her chest, emotional hurt, regrets and worries. Lahat ng iyon ay pakiramdam niya'y mawawala oras na makalapit siya doon.

Iyon nga lang ay marami pang naroon na tulad niya. All of them are aiming towards the light. Para nga lang silang nasa prosisyon sa nakikita niya. She was not in a hurry though, which somewhat surprised her. Something she felt was always the other way around before. She had a feeling that her life was always in a fast-paced scenario. Iyon bang lagi siyang pagod at hapo sa mga bagay-bagay.

It was different now. She would have her own time and that consoled her. She could also feel that everyone of them has a fair share on that source of light.

All she needs to do was to wait for her turn.

Iyon lang ay may mga epal. Kanina pa siya may naririnig at naririndi na siya roon. Someone was calling a name.

My name and a certain Cecilia.

Napapalingon tuloy siya para hanapin kung saan nanggagaling iyon. Nakaramdam siya ng bahagyang inis. Sino ba si Cecilia at bakit hindi nito patigilin ang tumatawag sa pangalan nito.

She was by far distracted on that voice of a man rather than the homely familiar voice of someone she knew from long ago.

Lalo at may kung anong damdamin itong pinupukaw sa dibdib niya. Na para bang nagmamakaawa itong bumalik ang babaeng nagngangalang Cecilia. The voice stirred a good deal of emotions of something like jealousy from the bottom of her heart.

What the heck! Like seriously?

She disregarded the voice. Itinuon na lamang niya ang paningin sa liwanag. She was really entranced with that inviting light. She was about to move forward when someone pulled her shoulder.

"Hindi pa oras, Selry." Ang winika ng pamilyar na tinig na iyon bago siya tuluyang nahila palayo sa lugar na kinaroroonan.

She then felt like falling and she was falling fast. Mga ulap ang tanging nakikita niya sa paligid habang papalayo siya ng papalayo sa pasilyo patungo sa liwanag.

She saw a mist surrounded her. It sort of made her fall a little slower. Eyes widened when it formed into a figure in front of her. Crystal brown eyes looked at her with relief which later turned sad.

"Lola?" Ang naisatinig niya. She then felt being imprisoned into an embrace. Napayakap na rin siya rito. A heart-pinching feeling swept through her, like it would be the very last time. She knew, her instinct told her so. Hindi niya na namalayan pa kung gaano katagal silang nagyayakapang mag-lola. Naramdaman na lang niya ang pamamasa ng gilid ng mga mata niya.

"Sumusuko ka na ba, Selry?" Ang tanong na hindi niya inasahang marinig sa Lola niya. Nanatiling wala siyang imik sa sinabi nito. The question resounded in her mind though.

Sumusuko? "Sa alin po, Lola?" She asked.

"Selry, apo ko. Kailangang tapusin mo ang nasimulan mo. Hindi ito ang solusyon sa lahat ng bagay na nakasakit sa'yo. Tandaan mong ikaw ang may hawak ng pasya sa buhay mo, walang iba." Her grandmother told her, "Ang pagtuloy sa liwanag ay hindi pa nararapat sa ngayon."