LUCIFER » SIMON MINTER

Chapter 20

'Right, you know where everything is, just make yourself feel at home, I guess.' I told Will as I unlocked the door to my flat. I expected Freya and Sarah to be doing something, but when I walked in everything was quiet. Strange.

I walked into the kitchen and left my house keys on the kitchen island, slipping my coat off my shoulders and hanging it over one of the stools, setting my bag aside too.

'Where's Freya and Sarah?' Will asked, trailing behind me. He had met them before, but they weren't good friends yet. He'd only seen them around at uni, so I guessed it was a little awkward for him to be walking around in their house. Unfortunately, I didn't know the answer to his question, but as I wandered around the kitchen I found a little note lying next to the sink.

In case you're home early, Frey and I went out to go grocery shopping.

Saz ❤️

'They've gone grocery shopping,' I told him, picking up the note and smiling to myself. I liked living with these two girls, and the fact that they left a note really made it feel like family and added a homely mood to the flat.

'If you don't mind me asking, what's going on between you and Ed?' Will asked, out of the blue with a small chuckle. I smiled at him, knowing I at least owed him an explanation as to why I suddenly pretended we were supposed to meet during my lunch with Ed, and then dragged him outside. 'Here, let's sit down,' He said, walking over to one of the two couches in the living room. I followed him and sat down, playing with the ends of my sweater sleeves nervously.

'Okay right, I get that it might be an uneasy topic, but trust me when I say it's just me being curious.' He tried to lighten to mood a little bit. Seeing as I was fiddling with my shirt, he probably recognised I was starting to feel a little uncomfortable.

'I'ts just– I don't even know where to start,' I began, giggling awkwardly. I brushed my hair away from my face and sighed. 'I just thought Ed and I were friends, you know?' I looked up at him and he nodded, urging me to continue talking, giving me a small smile. 'And I thought we got on because we both really like photography. So when he asked me to go out for lunch, I agreed because I thought, well, why not? That and I managed to finish most of my work yesterday...'

'So I didn't interrupt a date?' He asked. He and I both burst out laughing. Just seeing his face crack into a smile made me feel warm on the inside. 'Because I would've felt so shite afterwards.'

'What? No, it wasn't a date! Oh gosh, he would've asked me out on a date...' I told him, running a hand through my hair. 'But he acted like it was a date, and that's why I just wanted to get away.'

'So you don't like him?'

'Well, I mean he's nice and all, but I wouldn't date him, no.' I told him.

'Well, I guess you're lucky Simon doesn't know about this. Man, that boy would've been fuming.' He sank back into the couch and relaxed, looking out the window. Snow was falling gently. His brown hair was a mess, like it usually was after a long day of uni. We both sat in silence for a while as I chewed on the inside of my cheek.

'Sorry, I feel like it was a really personal question. I'm sorry. I just hope you know that you shouldn't feel pressured if things aren't working out between you and Ed. And there's nothing wrong with being straightforward with him and deciding to just stay friends. I think he'd rather have that than think you want him to chase you.' He said suddenly.

'You think he thinks I want him to chase me?' I asked, suddenly curious.

'Definitely. From what I've heard and from what I saw at the café at least. Just tell him he isn't going to get anything from you. End of story. But I can see why he likes you.' He smiled up at me, then glanced back outside.

–

'So how was it with Ed?' Freya and Sarah boomed into the flat, making me jump in my seat on the couch. I was binge watching some TV show I just found. It's wasn't particularly good, but it was something that made the time pass quicker.

I looked up at them, only to see that they both had their hands full with plastic grocery bags, bags of chips and a baguette sticking out the top of them.

'Oh no, don't look at me like that.' Freya gave me a look and let her shoulders drop. I knew she knew it didn't go well, just from that. Sarah leaned over the kitchen island and let everything fall out of her grasp. She sighed, and then walked over to me, not bothering to clean up the mess she made.

'So, what's going on, girl?' She asked, leaning on the back of the couch and supporting her head with her hand. I thought back to a couple hours ago, when Will was sitting where she was right now. I smiled lightly at the thought. She gave me a little smirk, which I looked away from.

'I might have run away from Ed,' I said. It was the worst sentence to start with.

'What?' They both gasped .

'I thought I was just going out for a nice lunch, but he was being really flirty and I panicked. Then guess who walked in.' I told them.

'Simon?' Freya raised her brows but I shook my head. The two of them shared a look.

'It was Will. Will Lenney.'

Freya raised her eyebrows. She didn't really care for him and after all, they had only really met once before. 'And then what?' She pushed.

'And he walked over, but then I made up an excuse and pretended I had to meet with him or something, and I pulled him out of the café and we left.'

'By cab?' Sarah asked and I nodded.

'But where did you go?' Freya continued asking questions.

'We drove back here, we hung out for about 10 minutes, and then he left.'

'That sounds so awkward,' Sarah said, turning around and letting herself fall backwards onto the couch. Her tangled curls flew all over the place, blocking her nose and mouth and making her sputter. And just as she said it, I realised it must've been quite awkward for him. I instantly felt bad and regretted dragging him out of the café with me. If only he knew how much our talk actually comforted me. 

'Did he say anything?' Freya asked. I shook my head and raised my shoulders. There wasn't much to it.

'You know,' Sarah began, still hanging on the couch upside down. 'I feel like it's quite obvious you still like Simon. For Freya and I, I mean.' Sarah was always one to speak her thoughts out.

And then I broke. I decided to say it all. I decided to be like Sarah and say whatever came to mind. I knew I couldn't keep it to myself. I needed to put it out there.

'Yes, but I don't know what to do because I don't want to push it but I also don't want to just give up on Simon and I. It's not easy to get over someone you spent two years with. So now I'm just at this stage where I'm oddly calm but underneath I'm frustrated with myself and with him and the situations and scenarios we've been put through. Part of me just wants 'out' and to vanish and pretend all of this never happened. But the other part of me is telling me that it'll be worth it at some point and that I just have got to keep swimming. The thing is, although I might be close to land, I'm just as close to drowning, too.'

---

A little bit deep. Kinda proud of it tho.

I'm having the most amazing time in Iceland right now. It's the most magical place. For those of you who follow my tumblr, you will have probably seen that I'm cleaning out my inbox just because I had so many requests I knew I wasn't going to write. My sidemen and WillNE requests are still open though, so if you have any ideas please let me know :)

Love you

Mel xx