LUCIFER » SIMON MINTER

Chapter 10

'You know what, Simon seemed to be really nice tonight.' Frey said. We were again all standing in the same big bathroom, taking off our makeup together.

'Yeah, he seemed really chill. It was just a really great night, right Lu?' Sarah asked.

'Peeling off fake lashes is literally the most satisfying thing,' I said as I peeled one off, trying to change the subject.

'True that. But seriously, what did you think?' Saz asked.

I just shrugged, which made the both of them sigh.

We all went to bed without many words. I sat on the edge of my bed with just my night lamp on, cleaning my best and most expensive camera lens carefully, thinking about when I bought it and all the great pictures I've taken with them so far. The depth of Sarah's eyes, Freya posing in the living room every time she was going out with Josh, my workspace back at my university dorm, the view of the setting sun from Simon's room...

I eventually got so lost in my thoughts and so focused on my lens that I didn't hear Sarah open my door and walk up to me from behind, so I jumped when I felt my bed dip next to me, but relaxed when I saw it was just her sitting down. She was wearing an oversized Sidemen t-shirt, one so big it almost came down to her knees. The blue text brought her eyes out even more and for a split second, I completely understood why she was Cal's world.

'It's not bad to talk about him, you know. Saying his name won't poison your tongue.' She said in her gentle, calm voice.

I nodded, looking down at my lens and turning it around in my hands.

'I don't mean to anger you or to put your hopes up or anything, but I think he still has an eye on you. Not in the way that he just wants to make sure you're okay but that he might still have feelings for you or something.' She told me.

I frowned. 'That's impossible. He only still 'has feelings for me' because it's only been two months.'

'Yeah, it's only been two months and he's still trying to be friends with you and asking you to hang out with him.'

'He only just invited me to Winter Wonderland because he knew that you and Frey were going and that I'd probably feel bad if I was left home alone.' I argued.

'To be honest, I don't think he would've come if you'd said no. He would've probably stayed home too or come over here to surprise you.' Sarah continued.

'He would never,' I said, feeling the anger bubbling up inside me.

'I'm just saying, I think he still–'

'Look, what's the point of telling me all this? Simon cheated on me! Okay? He fucking cheated on me! It's over and nothing is going to happen between us!' I shouted a little bit louder than I intended. 'How am I supposed to love a man when he doesn't love me?'

Sarah looked shocked and taken aback, looking at me with raised eyebrows.

'Fine, suit yourself. He still really cares about you, that is all.' She stood up and left my room, abruptly closing the door behind her.

I sighed and stared back down at my camera, new thoughts running through my head this time. The number of thumbnails I shot for his video with this lens... The pictures of his eyes and his lanky figure standing on the Brighton beach when we went to visit, the shaky pictures Callux took of us when we were on the London Eye one afternoon, the pictures of our fingers intertwined as we walked hand in hand down the street...

I felt a single tear roll down my cheek.

Why did he have to do this? Why did he have to put me through all of this? It felt like torture. I thought it would be easy to get over him. I should have deleted all the pictures a long time ago, to stop the memories from haunting my mind all the time. I stood up and carefully put my lens down on the floor amongst all my other photography equipment. I still needed a little shelf for all those things.

Then I grabbed my laptop from my desk and opened it up, immediately opening Photos.

His dimples in all the pictures as he leaned his head towards me, his big hands placed securely on my waist, the crinkles by his eyes when he smiled...

I sobbed. I selected each one of them and hovered over the delete button.

But I couldn't bring myself to do it.

And then my phone rang, telling me I had received a message. And without even looking, I knew who texted me.

I straight up knew it was Simon.

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Well... this is intense.

Mel xx