thoughts on clouds

monuments

Imagine being born a mistake.
Imagine every month, week, second of your life you're second guessing wether you have the right to be here,
Whether this world is for you,
Whether it's finally time to rid the world of the dark stain you are tainting the white cotton bedsheets
It's like a void you can't escape
Because it's in your head, it's in your bones, it's in your skin
It is your skin
10 shades darker than the rest of the world
Your pain , 10 times deeper
You want to deconstruct
You want to peel off every layer of this thick substance marking you as different 
If it were up to you you'd suck the pigment out of your skin until there was nothing left
You'd submit to the tendrils of darkness snapping at your mind and wrapping themselves around your heart
Not as a shield, not as a cast but as a cage
Threatening to squeeze until you explode
Because that's how you feel
You want to explode
You want to disappear
You can't stand the way they look at you or the way they stare
You can't escape the trap you were born into
And the self loathing swallows you whole
And you drown in your own sorrow as you realise you cannot change
You're cursed for life
The mirror doesn't lie, people don't lie, they can't be wrong
With words so cruel how can they ?

Except they are wrong
Except this so called curse is a blessing
The skin you hate so much is an artwork
It's the pride of your family , of your ethnicity , of everything you are
It's the strength you've carried for generations
It's hot coffee on a Sunday morning with chocolate undertones
You are a warrior
A melanin princes
Your brown complexion is not one of dirt, but of mahogany , the strong foundations monuments are built from
You are not a mistake , you are everything you were ever meant to be
You are the darkest of the oceans and without you we could not see the stars

I know sometimes staring into that black hole feels like a never ending sinkhole
But it's the beginning of the end
And you're gonna have to leap in headfirst and accept the beauty of every colour , every skin tone , every human in the world.