thoughts on clouds

Pain I guess

The big P word. And I'm not talking about Penis. I guess it comes in different forms. The first things most people would think are probably: physical and mental. But I think it's more than that. Of course there is psychological and spiritual and empathetic and all these other types of pain too but I'm not even talking about that.

Pain is when you run to a charger with 1% hoping you can make it just this once, and for a second you think you've done it. Then boom, black screen and a whoosh of pain. Pain is also when it's 1am and you're sitting on the bathroom floor at 3am tracing the bags under your eyes watching the tears cascade down your face, praying that it wont be like this forever. We all feel it, pain. It gets to the worst of us and the best of us.

It's something we can't run from, rather we run to it hoping to face the challenges the world throws at us. Pain is attractive. Pain is dark hair and alluring eyes with promises of love and forever. You run to the pain looking for love without reading a fine print of lies,hurt and heartbreak. Pain is death and blood, the painful cry of a child subjected to war. Of course you can't compare the pain of a mother choosing which son survives as she can't provide for both to the pain of loosing a friend to an argument. You can't compare them because every person is different. And pain is relative. Even though some waves may be bigger, darker, someone who may be seen to be suffering 'less' might be drowning in a sea as big as yours.

Empathy. It's something we hear all the time, shoved down our throats by authority figures trying to control the way we think. I know as well as anyone else that when someone tells you to do something you already had the intention of doing it becomes 100% less appealing. But empathy is real. I feel. You feel. We feel. We need empathy to bring us together as human beings and to be honest we're doing a shit job at the moment. And there's no one to point fingers at because we are a race. The Human Race. Beautifully united and Tragically divided. We care about each other, we try to help, to understand. But we also destroy each other, tearing each other apart to the basic atoms we all began with.

You can't run from pain it's everywhere, in the man sitting opposite on the tube smiling despite his girlfriend next to him, just diagnosed with cancer. Look into his eyes and you'll really see the pools of sadness. Yet he still smiles. For the sake of you, for the sake of the ginger bloke sitting next to him. For himself. Think about that before you barge past him rushing to get back to your game of footy. You can't run from pain it's everywhere. In everyone. The only thing you can do is run headfirst into the flames and just hope it wont burn away at the foundations of your very being.

Pain will make you or break you. It's up to you to decide which one. I'd suggest the former though because once pain gets inside, once it wins, it's takes every part of your existence twisting it's dark venom, staining your veins black, tarnishing your heart and emptying your soul. You can't always stop the pain. But you can accept it.