thoughts on clouds

didn't know I had this in me lol

It's hard.
It's hard craving someone so bad, wanting to hold them and you can't. Maybe they're just out of reach or maybe they're a million miles away. But there's something keeping you back. A barrier . A big space between you , the space between you and the only thing that matters right now. Everyday feels like a year away from this person . Every laugh, every smile, every joke cracked lifting the corner of your mouths up into even the tiniest of smirks makes you feel guilty. Guilty you can be happy without them there. You long to tug their sleeve, pulling them towards the fresh summer grass that warms your heart, although not even a fraction as hot as they make your heart race , pulsing with endless blood, spilling with thoughts of needs and wants and can't haves. When you're sitting on a beach smiling with friends , exploring the wonders of your heart you feel a tug in your chest as a piece is missing . You smile at how perfect life can be , but it's not. How can it be perfect if you're not here with me ? How can everything be okay when you are my everything and you are so far away. And when nights are lonely and I am looking up to the stars searching for you hidden between the untouched constellations. I rest easy knowing you're somewhere under the same sky. I rest easy knowing that every brown strand of hair on your pretty little head and the little crease you get on your forehead when you frown is still there somewhere as I close my eyes and dream of better days .I know that someday you'll be here next to me and my battered heart will swell love.