thoughts on clouds

dear mason (god forbid he ever sees this)

Because next time you call me when you're walking your dog home or walking home from school I won't pick up. D'you knoe what I'll do ?

Go through my phone log and look through the number of girls and guys who call me , not only when they're bored and need something to kill time , but when theyre busy and should be doing homework but instead put that aside because they want to talk to me.

Next time you call I won't pick up. I'll ring one of those people who take time out of their own lives to actually message me even just to say hi or see how I'm doing . And one of those people might just be a guy who I might fall in love with and spend the rest of the life with . And I might marry that guy and carry on with my life and most nights I won't think about the time we stayed up all night on christmas day , talking about everything and nothing, and most days I probably won't wonder what would've been if when I'd turned around and said goodbye youd grabbed my arm told me so stay .

Most nights I won't wonder why you never texted me first and never said you cared when all I did was care . Most nights I won't even remmember you. And you'll move on with your life and fall in love with that girl I always had a hunch you liked . And you'll grow up into the beautiful man I always thought you were . And you probably won't spare a second to thing about the girl you told your insecurities. Or the girl who you comforted while she cried over broken boys and broken hearts .

Most nights you probably won't think about the girl half way across the country who was always , always waiting for you . But on some nights , nights like these , she will close her eyes and feel the hole in her heart left by you. And on nights like these, nights that you don't care, she'll wonder if she should've ever let you go.