Downhill

Chapter 42

Apart from the sex stuff, I kinda think this weekend was a waste of time. I mean we didn’t exactly get to spend much time together because of one thing or another. The thing is I have no idea when I can go and see him next and when I do go and see him, its hardly worth the effort because he’s always busy. 

We haven’t been talking as much on the phone or skyping either, he’s constantly got something to be doing. I know I’m being selfish thinking that he should make more time for me but I hate not talking to him, he makes me smile and because I haven’t really got anything to be happy about, I need him. 

I need him to text me good morning and goodnight everyday, I’d like to know what he’s up to and if he’s having a good time. But when you don’t get any messages for three days straight, that’s when you start to worry. 

“He hasn’t even texted you once?” Hollie asks, sitting on my bed and messing with her extremely long, and now blonde, hair. 

“No,” I frown at my phone as I scroll through my conversations.

“What’s he been doing then?” 

“I have no idea, I’m just assuming he’s busy with Xfactor stuff,” I shrug. 

“Wasn’t he weird with you on Sunday?” she flicks fluff from her top onto my mattress and I push it onto the floor.

“Yeah, well I don’t know he just seemed so cold, as if he wanted to avoid me or something,” I grab a bobble from the side of my bed and scrape my hair into an extremely untidy ponytail, “And Nathan acted as if our relationship shouldn’t be okay or something, he was like really hesitant when he asked me about us.” 

“Bex, he’s acting so weird and you need to ask him about it I think,” Hollie shrugs.

“But I can’t just say, hey why you acting so strange do you not like me any more or are you cheating on me?” I put on a comical voice.

“You think he’s cheating?” Hollie’s hands fall into her lap and she stares straight at me.

“No, well, I don’t know like,” I stutter, “Just, Cher was so intent on being with Harry no matter what and I just, I feel like there’s millions of other girls that he could have and there’s no point in staying with me when he could be with someone like her. It would be easier for him because she’s right there and I’m not.”

“But, you are there,” she replies “You need to show him you’re there by ringing him up and talking to him and making sure he can’t be doing anything with her because you’re constantly on his case.”

“But I can’t be doing that because then I‘ll just be playing the ‘pathetic, needy child of a girlfriend’ role that Cher wants me to be.”

“So, just don’t be needy about it. If you think he’s cheating on you, confront him about it. it’s the only way to get a direct answer,” she picks up a malteaser from the bowl, throws it up in the air then misses her mouth so she dives for it as it hit’s the floor before shouting “Five second rule!” 

“Its hard to confront someone when you’re a billion miles away,” I say, ignoring her sudden movements but holding the bowl still as the bed shifts. 

“True,” Hollie admits as she munches on the malteaser.

“I hate feeling like this, not knowing if he still likes me or not,” I lie back on my headboard and start scrolling through twitter, “it’s as though he can’t be bothered with me anymore.” 

We spend the rest of the evening chatting and scrolling until Hollie decides to roll onto me and drop her phone on my face.

“Its Wednesday 3rd November and I’m lying here on your bed  discussing your possibly cheating boyfriend and his best friend Liam who is most likely in a relationship with an Xfactor dancer when we promised that on the 3rd of every month we’d slap each other if we had a boyfriend,” she sits up straight with her legs crossed and holds out her hand ready to slap me.