Downhill

Chapter 44

I’m much calmer now that I know Harry still wants to be with me. Its so much easier to breathe and feel like your not being squished by the worry when you know there’s not that much to worry about.

Harry told me he had a go at Cher the day after we made up and stuff, he said he slammed the door in her face and I laughed harder than I should have.

We’ve been talking every day like we used to now, he’s been telling me all about what he’s been doing even more than he did before. I think he wants to make sure I don’t have any doubts about him and Cher, which is good of him. 

At first it was kind of awkward like we didn’t know what to say when we answered the phone to each other. He kept saying sorry a lot and saying he feels like he doesn’t deserve me when I feel like I don’t deserve him because even though there was something going on with him and Cher I shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions and thought the worst. I should have trusted him more than I did. 

It’s Monday 29th November today and yesterday Wagner finally got voted off the competition, I mean, he was a laugh at first but the whole thing just got annoying after about four weeks. 

The boys did two performances on Saturday, both of which were perfection personified. Harry made up some signals to do on the show so that I know he’s thinking about me, which is quite cheesy if you think about it but it is exciting looking out for them every Saturday and Sunday night. He has the ‘hand squeeze’ where he’ll flex his fingers and the ‘lip lick’ where he licks his top lip for a bit. The ‘hand squeeze’ means he wants to give me a hug and the ‘lip lick’ means he wants to kiss me. Corny I know but he’s adorable so its acceptable. 

“Its cold this morning Bex, glad to see you’ve got your nice big hoodie on,” Mom smiles at me when I sit at the kitchen table.

“Yeah, its so warm I could live in it,” I grip onto the sleeves of my turquoise collage hoodie and feel the fluffy inside with my thumb. I’m so happy my collage doesn’t have a uniform of any sort, we get to wear ‘casual clothes’ as the dress code in the code of conduct says. I’d hate to have to wear a blazer and a tie all the time. Even our secondary school uniforms were pretty comfortable, just a polo top and jumper with grey skirts or trousers. 

“You meeting Sam at the bus stop?” she asks.

“Yeah,” I mumble checking my phone to find a text from him saying:

*Just leavingJ*

He lives further away from the bus stop than me so I have about tem minutes before I need to leave the house. There is a bus stop closer to his house but he said he’d go with me instead, even if it does mean he has to walk further in the freezing cold.

“Alice is back on Friday,” Mom tells me.

“I know, she said she’s coming back on the half eight train in the morning,” I reply, checking my last text from her to check I had the right time.

“That’s good, she can unpack and everything before you get home,” she’s shuffling round the kitchen packing herself a lunch for today.

“I’m going to go then, I’ll see you later,” I walk over to her, she’s chopping lettuce for a sandwich so I just kiss her on the cheek and she says goodbye. I swing my bag over my shoulder and leave, locking the door behind me. 

Its colder than I expected and by the time I reach the bus stop I feel like my fingers are going to fall off. Sam isn’t here yet so I lean against the cold post and stuff my hands into my hoodie pocket. 

“Morning!” Sam says once he’s about three meters away from me. He’s wearing the same collage hoodie as I am but in a royal blue colour with a scarf, good thinking there.