My Shadow (girlxgirl/lesbian stories)

30

Chapter Thirty- My Shadow.

"Jessie I'm not leaving. Tell me what's upset you so much!" I demanded, firmly holding her hand.

"Please, just go." She begged, her eyes beginning to water again.

"Jessica. I'm your girlfriend and I love you. You're supposed to tell me things and we won't get anywhere unless you do." I tried hard not to shout at her, the last thing I wanted was an argument. "I love you." I repeated. She was looking at me as though she was looking right through me. She looked distant and preoccupied.

"Whatever it is I can help. I just want to make you happy Jess." I pleaded. We were both so stubborn, the whole situation could've lasted forever. I knew i'd probably end up caving, eventually. "Is it to do with that Vincent? It is isn't it?" I saw the way her face changed at the mention of his name.

"How do you know him? Is it through Melanie?" I asked finally, when she didn't reply.

"I knew him first through Melanie's sister." She whispered, wiping her nose on the end of her sleeve in a most unladylike way.

"Go on.." I waved my arm about, indicating for her to explain further. Where was this going? I got the feeling it wasn't going to be pleasant.

"Melanie had a sister called Lily. She killed herself a few years ago. Back when I was 19. Vincent's never forgiven me for it. Because it was m-my fault that, sh-she did it." The tears began to flow again, rolling down her cheeks once more.

"Right, come on lets go inside." I pulled her hand and opened the car door. We needed space. I wanted to be able to comfort her properly.

When we got inside my apartment I led Jessie straight in to the kitchen and sat her down at the breakfast bar.

"Cuppa?" I offered, rubbing my thumb back and forth over her knuckles to sooth her. She was still crying lightly. She nodded enthusiastically. I made us both drinks and placed them on the breakfast bar before taking a seat next to Jess. It was silent for a while. I kept catching her eye and flashing an expectant look. I hoped she'd tell me more without me having to ask but it didn't look like she would.

"How could it possibly have been your fault? If she chose to take her own life, the only person to blame is her." I just wanted her to know that it wasn't her fault. Inside, I really hoped it wasn't her fault. I didn't know the full story yet, maybe it was her fault. Although, I really did hope not.

"We were together. She was my first real girlfriend. It lasted a couple of years. I broke up with her when I decided i wanted to focus on making my music. For months she tried to get me back. She tried everything. Then about a year later, Melanie became my manager. We had a few dates. I was never interested though, but she became obsessed with me. Lily though we were dating. She felt betrayed by the two people that meant the most to her." She explained. Tears were streaming down her face like a waterfall. I was surprised she even had any tears left to shed. I couldn't believe it. They'd both become obsessed with Jessie and fought for her, one had ended up dead because of it.

"One day I was in the studio and Vincent called, saying he couldn't get her put of her bedroom. She said she'd only come out for me. I went straight over. When I got there I banged on the door, i screamed, I yelled. She never came out. I sat outside the door for hours. There wasn't one sound from inside. That's when i started to get worried. Vincent came home and he broke down the door. We got inside, but it we were w-way too late." Her voice cracked and she sobbed loudly again. I jumped up, picking her up in my arms and I carried her into my bedroom. Thankful that Han wasn't home. I sat her on my bed and fetched her some tissues. Kneeling before her, i began to dry her tears. Cleaning the mascara stains from her puffy cheeks.

"She left a note." She barely whispered, her voice was timid. "I've never told anyone about the note. Not even Holly." She'd stopped crying, her voice was stronger now. She was clearly feeling better for talking about it.

"You don't have to tell me baby. But I'm here if you want to get it out." I didn't want to force her. I'd already forced the rest out of her. I never imagined she'd be telling me anything like this though. I pulled her hand to my mouth and pecked it. Which caused a small smile to appear on her face. Yet, it disappeared as quickly as it had appeared.

"The note was for her dad, I wasn't meant to read it. Vincent made me read it, he wanted me to feel guilty. The note said th-that" i could tell she was about to cry again.

"Please don't cry again Jess, It breaks my heart." I clutched her hand tightly and pecked her forehead as I stood up. "You don't have to tell me." I whispered pulling her up.

"As shit as today has been, I feel closer to you. You know now. You know about my baggage and I know about yours." She breathed against my neck, her head on my shoulder.

"Baggage isn't fun. I hate baggage." I droned. Worst of all, my baggage was my family.

"It makes us stronger. Your baggage is just your shadow. It follows you around all your life, but it's not you. You lead the way, the baggage follows." She looked up at me. Her eyes were wide and glistening. They were full of something. They screamed something at me. What was it? Love?

"I like that. My shadow." I nodded, pressing my forehead against hers. Our lips were only millimetres away. I could feel her breath against my face.

"Just know, I don't think it was your fault baby." I breathed before pressing my lips against hers. They crashed together, fitting perfectly. Our mouths moved in unison, in our very own perfect rhythm as her tongue delved into my mouth, ravishing me.

"I love you." She grinned as she pulled away, breathing heavily. "I'm glad we got all this out today. No secrets now, yeah?" She smiled. My heart twisted in my chest.

"Yeah, no secrets." I lied.

***************

Oooooooh what's she lying about? What dyou think? And don't forget about box, thats still in the story. What's inside the box?

Ok this was rushed and it's probably full of mistakes but i felt like i owed you all for taking so long to post. Its also quite short, but better than nothing right?

I just wanna say- some of you have come across my insta and twitter and told me you'd been wondering who i was and you'd been looking for me. I love hearing from you all, so this is my twitter... @EmCxrnish and my insta is @isthatjessiejimages go follow me😘😘 say hi☺️ Thanks for reading! MAKE SURE YOU VOTE! Votes make me want to update sooner;);) laters✌️