My Shadow (girlxgirl/lesbian stories)

39

ChapterThirtyNine- "Could you have killed me?"

I kissed Jessie passionately whilst she cried tears of joy. Meanwhile, I cried tears of pain and frustration. She pulled back as our salty tears began to seep into our mouth. She giggled, wiping me cheeks.

"My parents might just kill you. And me."

"Are you kidding? Your mum loves me." I joked in an attempt to lighten my own mood rather than Jessie's.

"Fucking-love-you." She spoke between kisses.
I was glad that she'd die knowing how much I loved her.

She quickly flipped positions, so I was laid down and she was straddling my waist. She quickly ripped off my jacket and her warm hands delved under my t-shirt to hold my bare hips. "Can you feel that? Everytime I touch you." I knew exactly what she was referring to. It wasn't like in all the movies. When you touch the person you love, fireworks go off. No it was much better than that. It was more like, somebody had flicked a switch. My mind buzzed like I was on drugs and my heart rate increased so fast I thought it might jump out of my throat. Just the hand holding was enough. When the touching was more intimate, I felt unbelievably high and exhilarated.

Jessie had begun to trail small, wet kissed along my jawline and down my neck. "We'll have to buy a ring you know?" She murmured against my skin. I nodded in agreement. "Promise you'll take me shopping tomorrow?" She looked up at me through her luscious long eyelashes, grinning like a cheshire cat. A loud sob lurched out of my throat at the thought. "Hey! Baby, baby, please." She cupped my cheeks and smothered my face in kisses. When I finally pulled myself together Jessie wandered off to get a tissue. I sat up trying to calm down.

"Hey what are these?" Jessie asked pointing to a box on the floor, beside my jacket.

"Oh, just iburprofen." I reached out for the box but Jessie snatched them. Luckily the box was plain and had no label.

"They don't look like iburprofen." She popped a pill out and eyed it carefully.

"Um, no, they're not iburprofen." I stood up, nervously playing with my hair.

"But you just said-" she began.

"Well they're like iburprofen. They're pain relief. I can't remember the name. They're new and they're supposed to be really good. I must have left them in my pocket the other day." I cut her off, explaining my bullshit.

"You ask me to marry me, and then you feed me a bunch of lies." She scoffed storming out of the room. "Nice one, fiancée." She yelled back, as I chased her down the stairs.

"I've just agreed to marry you Chlo. I know when you're lying. I can fucking see it. You just lied straight to my face." She grumbled, spinning to face me at the bottom of the stairs.

"Jessie I'm sorry. They're honestly nothing. Just pain relief." I smiled sweetly, avoiding fidgeting and eye contact.

"Alright, you won't mind if I take one then?" She made her way into the kitchen and poured herself a glass of water, holding the pill in her hand.

"Jessie! No! Don't!" I yelled, whacking the pill out of her hand.

"Are you ill?" She blurted.

"What? No?"

"Then why are you taking mysterious pills. I didn't know you'd been to a doctor. You never told me. Is this why you asked me to marry you? Because you're ill?" Her hands were tugging at her hair as her eyes grew wider and wider. I couldn't find any words I just stood still, shaking my head.

"Tell me what they are." She stood right infront of me now. Hissing in my face through gritted teeth. When I didn't reply she massaged her temples with her fingertips.

"Can't you see that I'm worried about you? When your girlf-fiancée starts taking strange pills behind your back, it's quite concerning." Her eyes began to fill with tears. "It's not like, life threatening is it?" She asked hesitantly.

"I'm not ill." I croaked, pulling her in tightly.

"What's wrong? Am I missing something?" She tried to push back to get a better look at my face, but I needed to keep her close. As close as I could get. "Why did you ask me to marry you? Honestly." She tried again to pull back but I couldn't let her go.

"Chlo, you're suffocating me!" She grumbled, I eventually let go. "It's your brother isn't it? You're scared you're going to lose me. You think he's going to kidnap you again, so you asked me to marry you." Her eyes searched mine, looking for confirmation. How could I ever possibly consider taking this beautiful, challenging, arrogant womans life? What the fuck was I thinking?

"I think they're cyanide." I wiped a slithering tear from my cheek.

"Why the hell would you have those? Oh my.. I nearly took one. You let me hold one in my hand!" She screeched stepping further away from me. My hand lurched toward her, grabbing her T-shirt. She slapped my hand away and back right up to the wall. I could see the fear in her eyes, she was scared of me.

"They're to put-put in your drink." I stuttered. Her face twisted into a horrific, pained, heartbreaking expression.

"I don't get it." She whispered, clearly she got it.

"It's not how you think." I stepped toward her again and she glanced at the back door. She was going to run. "Jessie I-I was being blackmailed."

"You don't even love me do you? Are you even gay? You've been planning this since the start." She whimpered, her voice cracking several times.

"Of course! I love you so much! God, Jessie why would I have spent all this time if- if- how could you even think that?" I was whimpering too now.

"Then why would you want to kill me? Who put you up to it? Was it paps?" She edged her way along the wall.

"No. It was Vincent, and Melanie and-and my brother." I murmured, tears now streaming.

"For fuck sake! I should've known!" She continued edging toward the door. "You've all been plotting against me all along. Were you even kidnapped? Or did you just have a social gathering?" She was stalling me, she thought I was going to hurt her. It broke my heart to see the fear in her eyes.

How could she think I'd hurt her after all the nights we spent cuddled up in bed? Oh, that's right, it's because I was planning to kill her.

"I was kidnapped! Vincent held me to the floor and told me if I didn't kill you within twenty-four hours. He'd kill me infront of you, then kill you." I desperately tried to speak through my tears my hands flying about in exasperation. Why couldn't she see I loved her and I wanted nothing less than to lose her? She scoffed at my explanantion.

"Jessie you have to believe me! Listen, we have to get out of here. Get out of the country. They'll be round here in the morning expecting to find you dead! If you're not they'll kill us both! We have to go and get away!" I'm not sure how but I ended up on my knees begging her as she began to open the back door.

"Please. If you love me, you have to trust me!" I scrambled to my feet, pathetically stumbling as Jessie left the house and made her way into the garden. "Jessie they're going to come after us." She glanced at the fence, she was ready to run.

"Why would I have come all the way to cornwall when I barely even knew you? Huh? Why would I have stayed with you at the hospital when your mum crashed? Why would I completely ditch my one and only friend to spend time with you? Why would I have fallen asleep beside you wondering how I'd come to love you so fast when I have known you such a short time? Why would I have spent hours yesterday sat with your mum? Why would I do all of this if I didn't truly love you? If you really do know me, like you say, you'll know that when you look into my eyes and tell you I lo-love you, I me-mean it." My voice broke on my last sentence and again I found myself on my knees. I clutched at my hair, trying desperately not to rip it out. "Jessica look at me." She was looking at the floor as though she was watching television, so interested in it.

"Would you have done it?" She kept her eyes focused on the ground. "Could you have killed me?" Now she looked up.

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