c h a p t e r | XVII

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BONDS OF DESTINY- XVII -

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BONDS OF DESTINY
- XVII -

He had left without a word. I knew I had hurt him, but it was nothing compared to how I felt. I felt defeated. I had been so close to finally confess everything to him, but then he had taken the knife. It wasn't just a question whether I trusted him, but also of  him trusting me.

I bumped down on the bed burying my head in my hands. I had to force him to tell me about the other attacks on other packs, and I had to force him to tell me about the turned werewolves. We were forcing each other into confession instead of earning it. There were no indication of the trust that usually hung in the air from our very first meeting in the different timelines. For some reason going into this life, trust was abandoned. He kept secrets just as much as I did. My mind wandered to the day in the office after I got him to tell me about the destroyed packs. Argent had built a wall around himself. A brick wall, which even I hadn't been able to break down, not fully. The hardness in his eyes was an indication of that. I knew he wanted me to be his, and I would be lying if I said I didn't want to be just that, but for some reason there was more to it.

- "I had a thought in my head that whenever my mate came around she would be the answers to all my prayers. She would be the light at the end of this dark tunnel I've been walking in ever since I was a kid." -

His words echoed in my mind and I rubbed my face before I looked up and caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. My appearance was pale and haunted. The black circles under my eyes still hadn't gone away. My lips no longer held their usual tainted pink, but lacked color in general. My blue eyes seemed even larger than usual as they seemed to be the only feature in my face that held any color. Even my hair seemed lifeless, though it was a mess from sleeping. I really looked like a wreck, a mere shadow of the girl I once was.

If the threat didn't kill me then the toll of these frustrations definitely would.

Ever since I was a kid.

Ever since I was a kid.

Ever since I was a kid.

The last words kept looping in my mind and I sighed walked over to the door to the small balcony and ripped it open to let the cool breeze engulf me.

He took over his pack by the age of 10 after his mother and father died. He was still a kid when he took the Alpha title. My hands grabbed tight around the railing, my eyes staring into nothingness as my mind was occupied.

He was still a kid then. He had taken on a huge responsibility at such a young age. Why hadn't he let Ryder's dad, their current Beta at the time to take over the reigns? Why hadn't he let him? What had clouded his mind so much he felt he had to step up as Alpha so soon?

How had his parents died?

Of course his parents leaving him at such a young age must have left its mark, but still them simply just dying, how could that possibly be enough for a 10 year old to claim his title already? I couldn't even begin to imagine how it must have felt. My parents were alive and happy. They had settled down in a house more secluded on our territory when I turned fifteen and moved into the warrior house as it had been my main priority for years and Shane was already living there. I guessed they thought we could keep each other in line. They had both stepped down from their positions in the pack as Shane and I became full warrior members, saying it was now our responsibility to uphold the family duties to the pack, which we had gladly accepted, hoping to make them proud. Dad had been a high ranked warrior while my mom had been one of the pack healers. I still remember the day when I earned the title as Warrior Commander, dad's eyes shining with pride, and my mom standing by his side equally happy for her daughter.

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