Pagsapit ng umaga (Editing)

Chapter Two

Chapter two: Shame

Palihim akong sumulyap sulyap sa paligid ko feeling those curious gazes burning a hole into my body. I am very much aware of what they’re thinking. Magkakaiba man ng mga ugali ang tao dito ay almost all the students in this school think alike. ‘Who is that witch that dared to make a scene?’

I felt goose bumps all over my arms since hindi naman talaga ako sana'y sa atensyon at snobby looks na ibinibigay ng mga tao sakin. For the past few years, I had been the kind of girl who wore an invisible cloak around here. I made sure to keep a low profile to avoid high school’s drama. No one really tried to bother me that much and that was alright to me.

But I gotta admit this, kahit na sino ka pa, kahit anong tago pa ang gawin mo, people will eventually stumble upon you and find you. When they do, they’ll judge you either way.

I decided na I have to just get this over with. Binasa ko muna ang labi ko bago tingnan muli ang bumangga sakin. Pinagmasdan ko sya ng maige at nang mag sink in sakin kung sino ang nasa harap ko ay kamuntik ko nang pektusan ang sarili ko. 

The person right in front of me has been the talk of school. I've been hearing a lot of things about this person kanina pang umaga pagdating ko. Students here in Hallmark are very into hearsay. Mahilig bang makisawsaw sa buhay ng may buhay kaya nga malas ka kapag may kumalat na chismis dito sa school na ito tungkol sa’yo.

Yes, aaminin ko. Mahilig akong manuod at obserbahan ang mga estudyante dito. I may have witness a lot of stuff that is worth as a good rumor to spread pero not to the point na ipagkakalat ko ito para lang makapanira. That is definitely not my cup of tea.

"Gosh. I’m so sorry! Hindi ko sinasadyang matapunan kita. Nagmamadali lang talaga kasi ako dahil nalate na ako ng gising.” Her voice was in a high pitch tone buhat siguro ng pagtakbo. Nakasuot sya ng polo na puti na pinatungan ng tight fitted na blazer habang below the knee naman ang palda nyang black and white stripes.

Alalang alala syang naglabas ng panyo mula sa bag nya at akmang pupunasan ang natitirang kape na natapon sakin. I quickly dodged her hand at nagsalita.

"No, thank you.” I answered her as polite and cold as possible.

"Sorry talaga.” Napansin ko ang mannerism nyang pagkagat ng kuko kapag kinakabahan sya. Medyo nagaalangan sya kung dapat na ba syang umalis o manatili lang sa kinatatayuan nya.

"Just go." I bluntly told her. Wala nanaman syang magagawa para maayos yung ruined unifrom ko. Magmumukha pa rin akong basong aso at the end of the day. What difference will it make?

"Are you su—?" Tinalikuran ko nalang yung bagong teacher bago pa man sya matapos magsalita at yumuko. Inisa isa ko nang pulutin ang mga gamit ko na nalaglag tulad ng target list notebook bago tumayo. Hindi na ulit ako tumingin sa direksyon nya but thank goodness she went away when I heard her heels ‘click clack’ move gradually away.

Hindi na ulit ako nagsulat after that certain incident. Buti nalang rin ay nagsibalikan na ang mga estudyante sa paglalakad nang mapansin nilang wala naman saysay ang nangyari kanina lamang. Not worth of a gossip.

Nakaramdam ako ng pagkawalang gana para sa araw na ito. Actually, why do I even bother?

Stupid school.

Habang naglalakad lakad nanaman ako ay may biglang nag-register sa utak ko which made my walking to a complete stop. I was frozen to my spot near the gate and it seems to me that everyone from around me was running to get to through their respective classrooms. Which in my case, I should also be doing.