Jealousy | Wen Junhui [EDITING]

Chapter 22

S.coups' POV

I waited outside the emergency room, pacing nervously back and forth, with the other boys and Tori's group either seated or standing as well. Tori was in there, and I wasn't allowed to go in and be with her. She was hooked in wires and tubes, while the doctors were preparing for her surgery. The three girls were chatting solemnly. Chan, Seungkwan, Vernon, and Jun were comforting a shaky Caleb. I remember the scene when Caleb found out that his sister had been rushed to the hospital. I had just come back from helping the doctors look for a spare bed for Tori and escorting her to the ambulance.

Just as I was reminiscing that moment, the sliding door opened to reveal a beautiful blonde woman speed-walking next to a tall Korean man. Both had fear and worry painted on their faces.

"Mom, dad," Caleb blurted, standing up and walking towards the husband and wife.

They pulled Caleb into a hug, in which he returned. Everyone stood up and greeted Caleb's parents.

The boys, girls, and I bowed. "Annyeonghaseyo, Mr. and Mrs. Choi."

The man and woman smiled wearily and greeted us back. When Mrs. Choi looked in my direction, she engulfed me in a hug. I was quite surprised at first but then I hugged her back.

"Seungcheol," she began, "thank you so much. Words, alone, can't express my feelings of gratitude to you; thank you for saving my daughter."

I looked around and saw everyone smiling at me, including Mr. Choi. All except Jun, who looked away with a disappointed expression; thankfully he kept his mouth shut. Yes, I had told everyone that I saved Tori.

FLASHBACK

"Jun, I need to talk to you," I said, seriously.

He followed me to the janitors closet in the hospital, one eyebrow pointing upwards. I didn't want anyone to eavesdrop on what I was about to tell him.

"What is it, hyung?" Jun questioned.

I didn't know how to start. I really didn't want to say it, but yet again I had to - if I wanted to keep Tori. I mentally cursed myself. I let out a deep breath.

"Jun, you know my feelings for Tori, right?"

He lightly winced for a brief second, then nodded as if  unaffected by my words. The words I wanted to spill choked in my throat.

"You can't be the one to save Tori," I finally choked out.

Jun looked taken aback by my words. Then he creased his eyebrows.

"Hyung, what are you saying?" he gasped.

"I- I..." I stuttered.

I grunted and ran my hands through my hair.

"I love her, and I don't want to lose her. I promised Tori I'll be her hero by protecting her at all costs; and if I don't, she'll be disappointed," I confessed, desperately.

"Please, let me tell her - and everyone else - that I saved her."

"What? No! Hyung, this is wrong!" Jun snapped, but quickly lowered his voice. "Tori would never believe it's you; she saw me!"

"W- well, the medicine Tori's taking - plus the future surgery - would give her a hard time to remember recent memories," I added, still sounding desperate.

Jun looked at me disapprovingly and shook his head.

"You think that would make her happy?" he caustically scoffed, "lying to her, plus our brothers and Tori's family. You'll hurt her and them!"

I turned away from him and covered my face in my hands. I slid my palms across my cheeks until my fingers were combing my hair. Jun was right, I would be lying to them. What would they think of me if they found out? Tori's parents would disapprove of me, my younger brothers and Caleb would be disappointed in me, and Tori would probably hate me. I couldn't live with any of that, yet there was a chance that they wouldn't find out. I didn't want to lose her to Jun. I needed her, more than Jun did.

"You have no idea how much I care about her, Jun. You have no idea how much hurt I'm going through and have gone through, because of how much I freaking love her. I want the pain to be worth it; please let me be her hero," I pleaded.

Jun sighed. "hyung, I know you- " he paused, "love her, but lying is wrong. She hates being lied to. Tori wants someone who's trustworthy: no lies, no hiding anything."

"If you really love her, you'll let her go. Let Tori decide who she wants to love back. Don't keep her happy with a lie," Jun added, voice-cracking as he looked down.

"Yeah, well, what would you know about making her happy?" I argued all of a sudden, snapping Jun's attention back to me. "All you've done is insult and hurt her for no reason!"

Jun looked at me with wide eyes, his whole body and face stricken with shock and being exposed.

"It hurt me to see her sad after your words pierced her," I continued, "she deserves to be happy, Jun."

Juns arms quivered; he bit his lip as he looked down. "You're right, hyung... she deserves the world. It's true, I did hurt her... a lot."

I mentally cursed myself, repeatedly. I hated myself for that - he sounded like a kicked puppy.

"If knowing that someone she admires - rather than some guy who hurt her -saved her would make her happier, then so be it," Jun concluded, mustering a small, painful smile.

"I'm sorry," I voice-cracked.

I really felt like crying at that moment. Jun deserved Tori, not me. I was the jealous, possessive one, not Jun. He loved her more than I did, and I couldn't deny that.

"It's okay," Jun breathed, "I understand."

I bit back tears as I pulled Jun into a hug. I kept whispering 'thank you' and 'I'm sorry.' He slowly moved his hands to my back and awkwardly patted it in a slow rhythm.

I felt like a horrible person. But what was done, was done.