Jealousy | Wen Junhui [EDITING]

Chapter 45

I panted as I dropped flat on the floor, finishing the dance routine of 'As if it's Your Last' for the umpteenth time that day. The date of the performance was right around the corner, and we stilll had to perfect our amateur dance moves. Tempted as I was, I wanted to remove the mask covering the lower part of my face to steal more air. But, Winter and I wanted to take extra precaution in hiding our bruises by masking the blotches with foundation then layering it with masks. Everybody, besides Jun, accepted Winter's and my alibi of simply having caught the flu.

"Winny, Vicky, are you sure you're alright?" Ash asked, handing me a bottle of water.

"Yeah, if you two are still sick then you need rest, not practise," Jennie added, seriously.

"No, we're fine," Winter deadpanned, eyeing Ash as she handed her a bottle of water.

My eyes confronted Winter's, as I gave her a look of stringy alarm. My eyes danced around her face, scrutinizing every bit in search of anything that could foreshadow her future actions. Winter and I communicated through our eyes, producing our own morse code.

"Okay, let's take a break before starting another practise round," Jennie proclaimed, dissecting the awkward tension.

I peeled my eyes from Winter's and met Jennie's outstretched hand. She pulled me up and slung an arm around me.

"Can I ask you something?" Jennie queried, directing me to a bench.

"But you just did," I pointed out, letting out a small laugh.

"No, a serious question."

My smile straightened into a soft line of anticipation, washing away any trace of being whimsical. I nodded my head, beckoning for her to continue.

"Are you sure you're doing okay?"

"Yes, Jennie, I'm fine, really," I answered, with a little hoarseness laced in my voice to add layers to my fake sickness.

"Then why are you so quiet these days?" Jennie supplicated. "Usually, you'd be cracking jokes or roasting Winter and Ash."

"I've just been fatigued, that's all," I addressed.

Jennie reflected a look in her furrowed eyes that painted a panorama sculpted with a certain veracity in uncovering the truth. To retaliate her look, I built a facade strong enough to tame her eyes from lacerating into my thoughts. It was a certain facet I appreciated about myself, though it could be energy draining at times.

"Choi Victoria, we may not have been best friends for as long as you and Winter have, but we've been through a lot together and have told each other things we didn't dare spill to anyone else. Don't let that stop now," she asseverated.

"I-" I stopped myself from continuing to think a moment. As tempted as I was to narrate the past events, I knew there were boundaries on what I should and shouldn't share with my friends.

"I'm sorry, Jen, but I can't tell you this time. Yes, there is something bothering me," I confessed.

Jennie sighed and traded her scrutinizing look for gentle and caring countenance. A small smile was painted on her face as she embraced me.

"Then I'll be here to make you happy," Jennie stated.

I engulfed her tighter and whispered an expression of thanks.

"I have something else I want to ask you," Jennie added. "How's... Caleb?"

"Caleb?" I echoed, my heart squeezing minutely. "He's doing okay."

"Okay, that's good."

I nodded and linked arms with her as we trudged back to Winter and Ash. Ash was absent-mindedly smiling at her phone screen, oblivious to the fact that Winter was shooting burning looks on her head. Jennie called for their attention and announced another practise round. Ash soon turned off her phone and alacritously jumped to her feet, skipping to her position.

Winter readjusted her mask and arranged her bangs in disgruntlement to eclipse her twitching eyes. I gently pressed my lips nervously against each other, feeling a sudden wave of uncertainty and alarm washing over me. Jennie, Ash, Winter, and I practised and practised, dusting off any hidden flaws in secret nooks and crannies. A loud knock echoed through the dance room, followed by the swinging of an opened door.

"Good job, girls!" Seungcheol cheered, gliding to where we were.

I smiled at him, remembering that he could only see my eye-smile. Seungcheol wrapped an arm around my shoulders protectively and asked if I could talk with him for a while outside. Just as S.coups and I were exiting, Jennie and Winter shot me looks of uneasiness, while Ash casted a teasing look. Just as we made our way to a quiet corner, Seungcheol removed his arm from my shoulders.

"We need to talk," Seungcheol uttered, somberly.

He reached out his hand, but I held it before Seungcheol's hand made contact with my sore cheek.

"What about?" I asked, making sure my sick voice sounded believable.

S.coups sighed then looked back up, casting dark shadows under his big eyes.

"I can't believe it..." he muttered.

"What's wrong?"

"Have you been seeing other guys? Like - I don't know - Jun, maybe?" S.coups tried to sound frustrated but there was evident hurt in his tone.

"No! Of course not! Seungcheol oppa, I promise, I'd never do such a thing," I asserted.

"Yeah? So you don't know about his sudden disappearances?"

"No, no, I did not." I raised my eyebrows slightly in surprise. "When did that start?"

"About a week ago, around evening. He dashed out of the house and came back about an hour later, tired and distressed. Jun didn't mention where he went or what he was doing. Then his disappearances became more often, this time around noon.

"And after his first disappearance, you called in sick and avoided the boys and I the entire time. Our calls became brief and you're barely talking to the others as well. Is there something you're hiding, Tori?"

"No, I'm not hiding anything, honest," I defended. "I had a bad case of the flu, that's all. Seungcheol oppa, I swear I'm not a cheater."

"You're lying."

His deep, venomous voice stung my insides a little bit. I gave no thought about my still healing lip as I chewed on it to tame any threatening forms of vulnerability.

"I-I'm not a cheater-"

"You're hiding something. I know it. What's so secretive that you can't tell your own boyfriend?"

I looked down, ashamed at myself for worrying him and the boys.

"I... can't tell you."

"You can't tell me?" S.coups slightly exclaimed. "So there is something you're hiding. You lied to me."

"I can't keep lying to you, oppa. Yes, there is something, but I can't tell you! No matter how much I want to, I just can't. Maybe someday you'll find out, but as for now I can't tell you," I articulated, in a melancholy and desperate way.

Seungcheol scoffed and looked up, trying to hold back what looked like forming tears.

"What am I to you, Tori? Just some guy you label as 'boyfriend'? Or do you really love me as one?

"Am I someone you can trust with anything? Or am I just there in your good times? Tell me, what does this relationship mean to you if you can't trust me?"

He furiously wiped away escaping tears. I continued to look down and hide my trembling lips.

"See?" S.coups pointed out, chuckling sardonically. "You don't even let me see your vulnerable side."

"S-Seungcheol..." I stuttered.

"Save it."

And with that, he dashed out of my sight, leaving a downcast trail. I mentally screamed at myself for standing rooted in my spot. I dropped my selfish pride and chased after the distraught Seungcheol. I followed the sound of footsteps and reciprocated them. Several times I called out his name, but everytime I did, his figure seemed to get even more far away. Dragged by fatigue, I leaned against a wall and tore off my mask to give my throat better access to air in a moment that was suffocating. I balled my fists and pulled at my hair in frustration, almost missing the light sniffles I heard from around the corner. So familiar, yet almost alien.