Jealousy | Wen Junhui [EDITING]

Chapter 46

I gathered a handful of my hair and tugged it in utter frustration. It punctured my heart witnessing Seungcheol tear up because of me. I couldn't even pour out my emotions to Seungcheol, when all his words and actions have been stitched with honesty. The words Seungcheol spoke gyrated in a stormy sea of cacophony contained in a sealed vault.

The roaring of guilt and self-pity almost muted the faint but adequately audible whimpers behind the wall I leaned on. I stopped muttering insults at myself and touched my ear against the border, hearing yet more peculiar sniffles.

"I-I can't d-do this," stammered a voice.

"Shh, it's gonna be okay."

I perked up my eyebrows upon realizing who those voices belonged to. Steadily keeping my composure, I stepped towards the door and batted it gently.

"Who is it?" a voice called out.

"It's Tori."

"N-noona?"

"Tori? Um- we'll be out soon, you can go ahead," Vernon called.

"May I come in, please?" I pleaded.

I heard several whispers chiming in the background, until finally a decision was made with a sigh:

"Come in."

I slowly entered, filled with empathy when I perceived the huddle of boys comforting each other. Vernon had his arm around a sniffling Seungkwan with Joshua, Jeonghan, and Dokyeom leaning against each other in lethargy. I sat with the bunch and put my hand reassuringly on Seungkwan's shoulder, solicitously asking the others what was wrong.

"Tori noona, don't be mad, okay?" Dokyeom muttered, scooting closer to me.

"Of course, Seokmin, I won't," I mitigated.

"Coups..." Jeonghan started, "he's making us practice too hard. First Hansol sprained his ankle, Jisoo lost his voice, Seungkwan had nausea... S.coups had been stressed out and it's taking a toll on us. I understand that he wants to help the school raise funds, but he's becoming too strict."

Prickling guilt stung and weighed down my shoulders: while I spent my leave days at home sprawled on the solace of my bed, the boys had been sacrificing their health for their performances.

"I'm so sorry... I didn't know..."

Dokyeom put his hand on my shoulder and lightly squeezed it, smiling softly. I wrapped my fingers around his wrist and reciprocated his sign of reassurance.

"It's not your fault," Joshua croaked, smiling sweetly.

I looked at each of the boys, sympathetic and touched by their willingness to keep going from their unbreakable love shared among each other. I felt a deep sense of gratitude, being accepted by them in their circle of tightly knitted brotherhood.

"N-noona..." Seungkwan hiccuped, releasing himself from Vernon's embrace and wiping away remaining tears.

"Yes, Seungkwan?" I turned to face him, letting go of Dokyeom's hand on my shoulder.

"Why w-were you ru-unning?" he stammered.

"Oh... that..." I mumbled. "It's complicated."

Though my answer was not worthy enough to be considered one, Seungkwan nodded understandingly.
I stayed with the boys as minutes consumed the solicit silence, wiping away our tears and frustration. My mind was like that of glass; clear droplets of anguish slowly evaporated, leaving a baron window eligible to let in rational thinking.

"Hey, Tori..." Vernon uttered, breaking the dense silence.

"That's 'noona' to you; but yes?" I answered, my smile stretching into a half-grin.