The apocalypse (Cry x Reader)

Chapter 44: Don't cry, Felix

The room was dark when I woke up, sleeping through the afternoon, it was well into the night. Cry was sleep at my side, back turned to me and quiet snores leaving his lips.

Rubbing the sleep from my eyes, I rolled over slowly so the rustling wouldn't wake him up. As I glanced around the room, Cole was nowhere to be seen, most likely sleeping in the other room.

Pewds laid on my other side, his back was also turned to me. The only sounds were the soft breaths of air the two let out, until there was a sniffle.

Blinking in surprise I turned my head to the side to the source of the noise, Pewds. He was curled up in a tight ball as far as I could see in the dark, and as I focused, I could barely make out the light tremble he was giving off.

The inner corners of my brows pinched together in worry, slowly, I sat up and reached out for him, laying a gentle hand on my arm "Felix?" I whispered gently. 

He jumped under my touch, looking back at me with wide eyes, with the reflection of the moon glowing bright in the window over the head board, I could see the glistening of his wet eyes and the tears running down his face.

"Oh Felix" I breathed out, biting my lip in sympathy "what's wrong?", the blond hurried to wipe his eyes "nothing, nothing, just a bad dream" he assured, breaking off into a painfully fake laughter.

My expression softened and I reached out to place a gentle hand on his shoulder as he moved to sit up, I sat up with him.

He pushed the balls of his hands into his eyes and took a deep, shuddering intake of breath. "You want to know why Marzia isn't with me right?" his whisper was so low, so quiet that I almost didn't hear what he said.

My lips parted in surprise, shuffling closer I bit my lip "yeah, but you don't have to tell me if it's painful for you".

The corners of his lips twitched, obviously appreciated the sentiment. He shook his head and dropped his hand from his eyes, Cole had left a solar powered lantern on the bedside table, he must've found it when he was looking around, probably in the garage.

Felix reached over and turned the knob, lighting the room dimly, enough that we can see each other, but dim enough that it wouldn't wake Cry.

With enough light in the room, I could see his face clearly. The sight caused my throat to tighten and my heart to tug painfully. His eyes were red, slightly swollen from rubbing, his lower lip to trembling slightly.

His cheeks were wet with tears and the tip of his nose was tinged red, he glared down at his lap as he tried to find the words.

I almost wanted to stop him from saying anything, knowing it was causing him pain, but I knew well enough now not to stop Felix when he was determined.

"We were here for PAX" he whispered, scoffing at himself when his voice cracked, he shook his head "there was one of those things at the convention, we thought-- "hey, that's great make up", maybe they were there to try and impress us or something? I don't know, that happens sometimes".

I gulped, shifting nervously on the bed, I could tell where his story was going. "It was twitching and groaning and reaching out, I thought it was great acting" a tear fell fast from his eyes, took quick for Felix to wipe it away.

"Marzia was getting creeped out, she was scared, she wanted to go back to the hotel but I didn't listen" he whispered, voice croaking in his throat. "But I didn't want to--" his voice caught in his throat as he held back a choked sob.

"If it was a bro, I wanted to at least see the whole performance, maybe get a picture?" he ran his hands over his face and took another trembling breath. His hands grasped the hem of his shirt tightly in his hands, crinkling the fabric and tugging to try and distract himself.

"Marzia's always been so amazing towards my bro's" he looked down at his lap, the corners of his lips turning up in a painfully nostalgic smile.

I could feel my throat burning, my eyes prickling with tears at the utterly heart broken expression on the male's face.

"So she stayed with me" he took a deep breath to get the strength to continue his story "even though she was scared, she stayed because I was stubborn. He-- it grabbed her and--".

He held a knuckle to his mouth and bit into it, trying desperately to muffle himself "she died because I didn't listen when she was scared, and I have to live with that everyday".

I didn't bother wiping my tears away when they began to fall, and neither did Felix. He stared blankly at the bed sheets, the expression on his face was one that I had never seen him wear before. Hopeless.

He had been carrying the grief and heartbreak by himself, crying to himself when no one was watching this entire time, and plastering a smile on his face for our sake.

He was stronger than all of us for this.

It almost made me feel guilty for the times that I had cried, or gotten angry, or thrown a fit out of frustration. Because not only does he have no idea whether his parents are safe or not, much like me, but he also lost his girlfriend, the love of his life.

It made me feel utterly childish that I was so distraught when I knew nothing of the things that he was going through and has been going through since this whole thing started.

Reaching out for him, my arms slipped around his neck, he trembled in my hold before latching onto my tightly. His hands grasping the back of my shirt tightly, balling the fabric in his fists. He squeezed his eyes closed and buried his face in my shoulder.

His mouth opened with a silent scream, and I wish that he could, I wish that he could finally let it all out without having to worry about us. To care about himself a little more. But for now, I held him while he cried.

While he relieved his grief and sorrow, arms clutching him tightly, trying desperately to fit all his broken pieces together.

And in this moment, I tried hard to think of what Marzia would say, seeing her boyfriend like this. Her smiling face came into mind, eyes softened in affection for him.

"Don't cry, Felix"