Still Falling For You (Gilmore Girls)

Love and Fear

Although Rory had successfully survived her first encounter with Logan and had come out of it relatively unscathed, she still felt a little like the Earth's axis had shifted somehow. She lay in bed the next morning feeling slightly dazed by the whole thing. Seeing Logan last night had caused every good memory and all the emotions attached to them to hit her all at once. It was almost like she had completely forgotten about some of them until just that moment, but she knew that for the most part, she had just pushed them to the back of her mind. The feelings had become so strong after he had confronted her outside the bathroom that she had no choice but to remove herself from the gala as quick as possible. They always had such a strong connection and she was surprised by the force of it, she wondered if he could feel it too.

It had been five years since her heart had shattered into tiny pieces as she had watched Logan walk away from her at Yale. Looking back, had she known that moment really was going to be the end of their relationship she might have called after him or stopped him but hindsight is a wonderful thing and she had never thought it possible that was how their story was going to end, so abruptly. Rory had clung on to every last bit of hope for the next few weeks but Logan never called and her own stupid pride prevented her from picking up the phone and begging for him to compromise in some way. She had loved how things used to be between them and it had made her incredibly sad every time she thought about it, knowing that neither of them had actually fallen out of love with each other, yet they weren't together. It was at that point that Rory learned that love does not, in fact, conquer all and it felt that they had just thrown everything away carelessly.

As time went by, in the first couple of years after they broke up she had contemplated storming the castle and invading his life and there had been many times that she had regretted not just doing that, but the fact remained that he had chosen to walk away from her so who was she to go chasing after him, knowing that's not what he wanted.

Before James came along, she had pretty much accepted the fact that she would probably never fully love another man, not in the way she loved Logan, so completely – she loved all of his flaws and all his mistakes. With the distance that was between them now, she appreciated that she was lucky to have had the opportunity to experience that once-in-a-life-time ridiculously inconvenient all-encompassing love that so many others don't get to feel and regardless of what still lay under the surface, she had made her peace and was now in a happy healthy relationship with a wonderful man, who she loved, even if she found impossible to love him with her whole heart.

Rory had met James Attwood at the opening night of the Broadway show that he was currently starring in. She was interviewing him for a first-night review piece for the Times and they had hit it off immediately. Rory had been single for a while and loved the flirting and attention she was receiving from this good-looking man and he basically swept her off her feet. A well-known actor, on paper they were pretty much a bad fit from the start but as they had got to know each other, they realised they had more than in common than they had originally thought and their relationship developed quickly. So quickly, that within six months James had asked Rory to marry him and to the surprise of pretty much everyone including herself she said yes. Being faced with a proposal for the second time in her life had kind of blindsided her and deep down she thought it was too soon in their relationship, way too soon, however, Rory had already said no to one man and he had left her because of it. She was scared if she turned down this proposal she would be left on her own once again.

There had been moments in the run up to the wedding where Rory had wondered if she was really doing the right thing but she knew that she could love James - albeit a quiet and steady love and nothing like the burning passion that she had once felt for Logan. Even though she never really wanted to admit it to herself, there was always a part of her that was still hung up on Logan and the worst thing was, she never expected it go away.