Still Falling For You (Gilmore Girls)

Letting Go

The next morning after a restless nights sleep, Rory walked into their apartment to find James waiting in the living room for her. She had been outside for hours, trying to work up the strength to go in and face up to what she needed to do. She knew that neither of them could continue in the way they had but she had no idea of how James was going to take the news, he could be pretty unpredictable.

Lorelai had desperately tried to make Rory realize what she would be giving up if she walked out on James, and she had made her question what might be in the future for her and Logan if there was anything at all. Rory had almost been convinced by her mom's arguments, but as she lay in the dark in her childhood bedroom she remembered that Lorelai had never really been on Logan's side and Rory knew him better than anyone, he had asked her to be with him hadn't he? She was pretty sure that if she chose Logan, he wouldn't walk away from her.

But this decision hadn't purely been about Logan, although he had been a major factor in it. It had been about her and what she wanted. The more she had thought about it the more she had realized that as much as she cared for him, James was not what she wanted and though they'd had a good couple of years together, they had married much too soon and Rory knew that the sad truth was - had she not been trying to bury all thoughts of Logan at the time, she probably never would have married James in the first place.

"Where have you been?" James said as Rory walked in the door. He took in her appearance, she looked tired and like she had been crying.

"I went to Stars Hollow to see my mom," she said as she put her bag and car keys down on the sideboard.

"You could have told me, I was worried about you."

"Sorry, it wasn't planned," Rory said as she looked down at the ground. She wondered if she should make some small talk first or just get it over and done with, like ripping off a Band-Aid. In the end, she went with the latter, figuring there was no point delaying the inevitable.

"James...I think we need to talk" Rory said quietly.

James sighed and sat down on the sofa. He didn't seem surprised by her words. "Okay"

Rory sat next to him. "James, there's really no easy way to say this but I think that we should separate for a while."

"What?" he looked at her in shock.

"This is not working for us, it hasn't worked for a while. I think that we both need some space" Rory said without looking at him.

"So that was what you were doing with your mom? Discussing our martial issues before you've even discussed them with me? That's real nice Rory. Who else have you been talking to about us?"

"I just needed someone to talk to." She said resolutely. She wasn't going to apologize for talking things over with her mother. "James, I just think that we are constantly clashing with each other, and I have some issues that I need to work out in my mind. I think that I could do this better if we were apart for a little while."

"This is bullshit, Rory. Are you leaving me for him?" he spat.

"What? No!" Rory could feel her face as it flushed. "This isn't about Logan" but even as she said the words, she knew that it was partly a lie. While Logan wasn't the sole driving force behind her reason to end her marriage to James, it had definitely moved the decision along. "I've not been happy for a while, have you? You can't be happy living like this James? We're barely communicating and if we are we're fighting. This isn't a marriage, it's an existence."

James ran his hands through his hair. He'd been angry and suspicious of his wife recently but he never thought that she would actually come to him and tell him that she wanted them to get separated.