The Altered Mate

Chapter Nineteen

I was sorry for being so distant with Ekon when he was trying to hang out with ms, and i knew i would apologize, but i was just so afraid of what was going to happen tomorrow when my family shows up on his doorstep and instantly try to sweep me away into a metaphorical sunset.

I know Lawson is going to be mad, even if he knows that there must uave been a reason for me to go rouge, he probably doesn't assume that it's because of a few mean things that my brother called me. He probably assumes I've been beaten and abused by my family and or pack or that I was somehow driven away from my family. I don't want him to think of me ad weak because of what i did. I dont know if i could handle him considering me weak, although i know i have nothing on him compared to strength, he is an alpha, when I'm an omega with a mental illness keeping him from his dreams of being a man who doesn't have to take orders from a older stronger man because he cant seem to make choices by his own self.

My fingers twitch and I know the only way i will calm down is if I play the piano until my fingers and brain are numb from hours of use. Lawson is the only other person besides Pap who has ever been able to calm me down when I've been like this, and I cant be around Papa, since he isnt here at the moment, and i dont want to see Lawson until I have found a game plan to how I am going to tell them.

"I think i want to play piano for a little while." I say suddenly as I i turn to look at Ekon, already getting up from my seat. Ekon seems confused but slowly nods as he too stands up.

"Alright, would you mind if i was to sit and listen to you play for a little while?" I think it over before shrugging. He has heard me playing before and I'm not nervous to play in front of he is like i am with mostly everyone else. Ekon might not be on the list of people who I know could help me if i got too worked up, but i know that a little more push of him in my life, that he'll be a new addition to the list in no time.

We both head to my old room, I had been sleeping in Lawson's rokm since the first night he held me in his arms, I dont know if i would be able to sleep without his strong arms around me, so i consider this room old. I came here because this is the only room that I know has a piano in it.

I open the door and hold it open for Ekon before rushing to the, once again, dusty piano before sitting down on the uncomfortable bench and running my hands over the keys causing sounds to ring through the room.

Ekon gets comfortable on the bed and I warm up my fingers by playing some songs that I have memorized when I was just beginning to play actual pieces instead of learning notes and keys.

Everything around gets dimmed as I begin to play my favorite song I have ever written.

(Again this is not his actual song, I am just using it to enhance the story as a whole, it's at the top)

My fingers free as they press down on the white and black keys, knowing that my music could actually mean something to someone somewhere. I just have to have the guts to let someone besides people who are close to me hear my talents.

When i finish the song my shoulders slump from their tense position from holding them up for so long and I tunr around to see what Ekon thought, but my throat closes when I see Lawson standing at the door, looking as if he has been here a long time.

"Hi." I whisper shyly as I look down, rubbing my pants in between my fingers.

"That was beautiful, who is it composed by, I didn't recognize rge piece?" Lawson asked as he pushes on the door frame and walked farther into thd room. I blush as i look uo, his praise is directed at ms, but he just doesn't know.

"I did. I write music every now and then on the side. It's no big deal, I'm not sure if anyone would like it anyway." I say as I shrug, feeling awkward when I see Ekon inch his way out of the room.

"I think you're wrong. Anyone would pay for you to play that fie them. I didn't know you played piano, or composed music." Lawson said as he say down on the bed where Ekon previously say. I stood up and joined him on the bed, cuddling into his side when he lays us both back in the bed.

"Ive been playing since i was young. I've always had a love for classical music. It's something i feel I can be good at." I explain vividly as I save my arms around in the air. Lawson seems amused and he grabs my hands and holds them in his large ones.

"I seem to learn new things about your every single day, I don't know how many more surprises i can take from you." Lawson reveals as he pulls me into his lap. I gulp and I look down.

"I do need to talk to you about something, and I dont know how you are going to react." I say quiet and slowly as I mess with my shirt.

Lawson seems to open his mouth to ask what it is, but the door is slammed open by a panting Ekon.

"Alpha, another wolf has crossed into our borders."