Wait For Me

Decision Time

Her mind had been racing for days, everything from the last month clashing in her head. The end of her leave was up tomorrow, and it was proving a harder decision than she had ever planned it being. Hansen had sent an email pondering on whether she was to return fully or whether he should begin finding a more permanent replacement.

Connie had thought that when today got here, she'd automatically know what she would do. It was obvious, right? Connie Beauchamp naturally she'd choose the ED, her job, the well established career. But as she sat with her laptop before her, she wasn't sure. She looked out into the empty kitchen before letting her eyes fall back to the keyboard.

The shirt that hung over her slim frame still smelt of him and it bought a fresh smile to her face, along with another thought. The life she'd experienced in the last four weeks had been unlike any other. She wasn't naive enough to believe that it could always be that way, but going back into the ED with no idea how much paperwork she would be buried under, didn't give her much of an opportunity to even try and maintain this life.

Reaching out, she was ready to begin an answer as she heard footsteps coming from the hall. Closing the internet page, she instantly bought up something else. A playful glare on her face she looked to Jacob as he strolled into the room lazily. "Get enough sleep did we?" Holding his hands up in surrender he smirked moving to stand behind her, his arms moving over her shoulders where she held onto his hands.

"What are you doing down here anyway? Is laying with me really that unappealing?" She scoffed with a laugh as she looked ahead. "Believe me, there are things much worse than that..." She considered lying but a part of her couldn't bring herself to do so. Instead, she lifted the lid of her laptop clicking on her emails once again.

She watched him move beside her, his eyes scanning the email before seeing that the response box was still empty. "You don't know if you want to come back?" "No... Yes- No, I don't know. Obviously I want to go back, it's the one place I've always fit in. It's where I belong and god I've missed it this last month... But if I go back, then I say yes to a lot of hours, a lot of paperwork, and not a lot of time with you." "You mean Grace?"

She shook her head as he frowned moving to sit beside her. "I mean you, Jacob. Us. I've always put things in the way of us working and I'm scared I'll do it all over again-" "And what if I don't let you do that this time?" She tried to stop the smile as she shook her head. "When have I ever listened to you?" "Point taken... But Connie, I live with you now. I help you with Grace and a lot has happened, it'll be different this time. I promise you."

He caressed her cheek with a smile as she leant into his touch gently. "What if I need to take time off again?" "For what?" He shrugged as he moved to the kitchen switching the kettle on. "I don't know, Grace's appointments, if she doesn't cope well with school, or what if I need some time away in the future." Jacob was ready to answer before her final words played over a few times.

"Con, why would you need any time off work?" He stayed frozen in the kitchen trying his best not to get ahead of himself. "Sweet cheeks?" "It was just a conversation I had with Grace, it made me think... That's all." She offered a smile but he didn't buy it.

Moving from the kitchen he closed the lid of her laptop causing her to snap her hands back. "Jacob. Drop it." Shaking his head he pulled on her hand making her move to the sofa with him. "Explain." Sighing heavily she fell down to the sofa beside him, leaning into him despite the warm temperature of the house.

"Grace asked me about Lilly and we talked for a while..." He sensed there was something more before it came, waiting quietly not wanting to make a deal out of this when he didn't know if there was anything to be thinking about. Running his hands through her curls, she lay down with her head on his lap as she closed her eyes. She couldn't do this, have this conversation. If it happened, it happened, that's how she saw this. "Honestly, it was nothing. She just caught me off guard and I got a little upset thinking about things..." Sitting up she pulled away from him.

Jacob reached out placing a hand to her back stopping her from moving any further. "And what did you say?" She was quiet for a moment, she hadn't planned on ever telling him about their small chat but something inside her was urging her to carry on. "I said I missed her. Jacob this is never going to be easy, it doesn't matter how well we paint over it. All I'm saying, is there may be times when I can't face this job. What do I do then?"

Jacob reached across to take hold of her hand, squeezing it comfortingly. "When you have days like that, we'll deal with it. Together. You'll never have to go through any of this on your own, and when those days that seem too hard to handle come, you just say." Connie smiled sadly as she nodded. It had been a thought, but it wasn't the true reason she was thinking she may need sometime away.

Lately a few things had clicked in her mind and it was just another thought countering the benefits of working. Right now though, she didn't need another expectation that she might not be able to meet. Looking to Jacob once more, she saw the love in his expression and couldn't help but smile. "So I'll tell Hansen I'm back from tomorrow, but that it has to be flexible and on my terms." "There she is, I knew that the Queen Bee wasn't too far gone." Nudging his arm he watched as she stood up, him quickly following. "Connie?" Turning back she looked to him before closing the space between them stepping into his embrace.

He wrapped his arms around her tightly, placing a kiss to the top of her head. "I love you-" "I love you too muscles. Now let me write that email and then we can enjoy my final free afternoon." Jacob leaned back waggling his eyebrows causing Connie to push him away. "Do you ever think of anything but sex?" "What!? Tell me that's not what you meant..." Rolling her eyes she couldn't help but smirk as she returned to her laptop while Jacob disappeared into the garden waiting for her.