The Eighteenth Heart

Chapter Twenty-Three

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

Ang dami ng audience. Ang dami ng tao ngayon dito sa library. Pero isa lang ang napansin ko.

Si Luke.

Umaano siya dito? Bakit nagpunta siya di ba? Ako ba yung rason? Kung ako nga, bakit?

“Ah miss garcia, you may start already?”

“Oh. Ah. Okay.”

Umayos ako ng upo sa high chair at inayos yung mike na nakatapat sa mukha ko habang tinignan ng staff for the last time yung cable ng amplifier ng gitarang hiniram ko.

As I tested the guitar, naisip ko na ngayon yung first time kong ipakita tong side kong to. Selfish na kung selfish pero ayokong may ibang nakakaalam ng side ko na to. Music is a part of life. Kaso ngayon, parang no choice na rin eh. Bwisit na Nathan. At isa pa yung taong nakaupo sa gilid at dulo ng library.. Si Luke. Bwisit na Luke. Bwisit na mga tao to.

This is making me nervous. It’s making me crazy. There’s even this foreign unknown monster gnawing at the inards of my stomach. I look around.

You all make me feel so vulnerable. I pray to God I won’t get broken this time.

(Desperate by David Archuleta)

Hmm..  (desperate, desperate)

You're reachin' out,

And no one hears your cry.

You're freakin' out again

'Cause all your fears remind you.

Another dream has come undone.

You feel so small and lost

Like you're the only one.

You wanna scream,

'Cause you're desperate.

You want somebody, just anybody

To lay their hands on your soul tonight.

You want a reason to keep believin'

That some day you're gonna see the light...

You're in the dark;

There's no one left to call.

And sleep's you're only friend,

But even sleep can't hide you

From all those tears and all the pain

And all the days you wasted pushin' them away.

It's your life; it's time you face it.

You want somebody, just anybody

To lay their hands on your soul tonight.

You want a reason to keep believin'

That some day you're gonna see the light...

'Cause you're desperate, desperate.

'Cause you're desperate now...

You know the things have gotta change.

You can't go back, you find a way.