Dan & Phil Oneshots

The Apple of My Eye

*Quick reference to sex towards the end.
(Dan's POV)

I swear it should be illegal to get out of bed. Why would anyone have to leave the comfort of the sheets to actually live? We need a future where robot maids can bring us food while we sleep all day.

Or I can just get Phil to do that.

"Phiiiiiiiiiiiiiiil!"

No response.

"Phil! I want brekkies!"

Still no response.

I groaned, vowing myself to make Phil bring me breakfast in bed for the next two days. I trudged downstairs, noticing how heavy my footsteps were against the wood panels. Eyes half-closed, I shuffled my feet into the kitchen, stopping just inside to give Phil a glare.

Except I got hit by something before I had the chance.

"Phil!" I exclaimed as I flinched, rubbing the spot on my arm where the...whatever hit. Looking down on the floor, I saw an apple slowly roll away from me, a dent visible on its side. I looked back at Phil, eyeing him cautiously as he stood there with a huge smile on his face.

"What the heck was that for!?"

He shrugged, leaning over to the counter and grabbing another apple.

"No, Phil."

He turned back to me and chuckled, not in a friendly way either.

"Phil..."

He raised his arm, taking the apple backwards as he aimed it at me.

"Phil, NO."

I ran out of the room as he chucked the apple towards me, feeling angry as his laugh followed me. I kept feeling apples hitting me in the back as I ran to the lounge, but thankfully, I slammed the door in his face before he had the chance to enter.

I heard a faint "Aw" from the other side of the door. Ignoring it, I made my way over to the couch and flopped down, spotting my laptop that sat a few feet away from me. I hastily opened it and checked my Tumblr page for anything new, disappointed at the lack of new content.

"You know, locking the door is a more effective way of keeping someone out," said Phil as he opened the door, brandishing a plate of scrambled eggs and hash browns.

Yet as I hurriedly reached for the platter of mouth-watering food, he moved it just out of my reach.

"Uh uh uh. This is my plate. You get to fix your plate," he gestured towards the kitchen, "over there."

I scowled, giving him a long, cold stare before shoving myself off the couch, also making sure to stomp my feet as I walked out the room.

A few minutes later, I was back in my favorite sofa crease with Phil by my side as an episode of Haikyu!! played on the television. Our breakfast plates were balanced on our laps as we eagerly tucked in, watching Hinata nail another one of his amazing quicks.

"You still haven't thanked me for making you this 5-star breakfast, Daniel!"

I glared at him, shoving another mouthful of eggs into my mouth before stating, "Well, you haven't apologized for throwing apples at me."

"And why would I do that?"

I reached over to the remote, paused the show, and waited for Phil to apologize. Yet all he did was stare back at me with a dumb smile on his face. I began to tap my foot, crossing my arms as I grew more and more impatient. Only, he still stared back at me with that idiotic smile plastered on his face.