The Bad Part About Loving Her

Chapter 10

Alex didn't know how to feel once Alice came to visit her. Alice wanted this three day evaluation to be lifted and she wanted to take Alex home. But what if Alex didn't want that?

"What did Dr. Hallandale say?". Alex asked hoping she wasn't able to go back home.

"She told me that you were under a mandatory 72 hour evaluation. And I told her we'd sue if you weren't released by tomorrow morning. You have some photo shoots to do and a coaching for the Mini Cherries who have their first concert in three weeks". Alice rambled.

"Dammit Alice! What is it going to take! For me to actually die next time to get a damn break?! I feel like I'm being sophicated by all of this! And you keep pressing the pillow down on my face!". Alex yelled under the pressure of coming back.

"I didn't think you felt that way". Alice sounded offended now.

"Well I do. For God's sake Alice I tried to commit suicide. I mean what the hell do I have to do next? Hold a white flag up on top of the Empire State Building?". Alex was on the verge of tears.

"I-I'm sorry. I thought you wanted to get out of here as soon as possible. To clear your head and figure out what's wrong". Alice sighed.

"When was the last time you asked me what I've wanted?". Alex laughed bitterly.

Alice didn't have an answer.

"You don't even remember do you? I remember. It was, do you want to experience an opportunity of a lifetime?". Alex remembered highschool her. Naive and stupid.

"What do you want Alex?". Alice stared at Alex.

"My son". Alex answered quickly.

"I'll see what I can do". Alice stood and hugged Alex then walked out of the door.

Alex loved Alice like a Mother. But sometimes Alice just piled things on to much. Alex was waiting for her second appointment with Dr. Hallandale.

"Good afternoon Alex". Dr. Hallandale walked in without her notepad today.

"Hi". Alex smiled a sad smile.

"You Ok today?". Dr. Hallandale asked.

"Ok? Nah. I'm in a psychiatric ward. I don't think Ok applies here". Alex sighed.

"That's expected". Dr. Hallandale nodded.

Alex nodded.

"So today, if you are up for it, I want to talk about your life as a teenager". Dr. Hallandale spoke hesitantly as if she'd break Alex by saying the wrong thing.

"Ok. I want to. But there isn't much there". Alex nodded.

By the age of thirteen I had realized everything my Mother had done was wrong. I missed my Father everyday. It pained me to live in the house with the person who killed my Father. I went day in and day out avoiding my Mother. She didn't notice, she was rarely home anymore. That's when I met Jay Forrester. He was sweet to me. He protected me from the drug dealers and junkies in my neighborhood. He was like my brother. Until he asked me to be his girlfriend once I turned fifteen. Of course he was cute and I had a great relationship with him so I agreed. Everyone called us the "Power Couple" of tenth grade. We dated for a year until eleventh grade when I got pregnant. I told Jay. He was happy at first. Then he became distant. My Mom was furious of course. Telling me that I had to get out of her house. I moved in with Jay and his Mother who resented me for changing her son's life. Pretty soon the tension got to thick for her so she made Jay choose. Her or me. He chose me for a while. Until he realized she was kicking us out. He changed his mind real quick and didn't hesitate to slam the door in my face. I wandered the streets for a day or two. And then I ran into Alice. She told me that I had potential. I wasn't showing then. So she had me audition for the Cherry Red Dance group. I immediately was given everything. Money, a house, a car. On my first show, I got a call from Jay. He was apologizing and telling me how sorry he was. I laughed at him. Did he think I was stupid? I was done being his puppet. I had my son in secrecy. Not even the other Cherry Red dancers knew. After Kayden was born, Jay tried to get shared custody. That was a nasty battle. After my first couple thousands came rolling in, I reached out to my Mom to see how she had been. She was in a homeless shelter. She couldn't pay for the bills and the rent. I bought her a house and paid it off. I got her a car. Then later she turned around and took my son away.

Alex finished with a stray tear rolling down her cheek.

"I'm so sorry, Alex". Dr. Hallandale removed her glasses and wiped her eyes.

"Don't feel sorry for me, what's done is done". Alex sobbed.

Dr. Hallandale had done something that was against protocol. She hugged Alex.