Secret // Calum Hood

3

Calum

As soon as Ms. Brown put the list of names on the board, my eyes scanned it nervously.  I didn’t really know anyone in this class.  I had never been in Honors before, but they told me I showed the potential last year.  So naturally, Mom insisted I go.  I didn’t mind.  I’m just not with my friends.  My stomach hurt slightly.  I know everyone thinks of me as a super confident soccer player, but I’m not.  I just play soccer because it comes natural to me.  Talking to people, however, didn’t.  I was only sort of popular because Derek hangs out with Janie and Hanna.  And I guess because I’m a good soccer player.  But that didn’t matter when it came to this.  They aren’t going to worship me just because I scored a few winning goals in my time.

I found my name and looked to the left...to see Elena Jacobs.  I didn’t know her well, but I know that everyone thinks she’s really weird or something.  I just came to this school last year, around April, because my best friend Derek got me a spot on the team.  Everyone seems to hate her for some reason.  I mean, she does act a little weird, and she’s very reserved.  But I guess that comes with everyone hating you.  When Ms. Brown told us to go sit next to our partners, I slowly got up, anticipating this whole situation.  Maybe she was really mean or something.  I mean, the way Janie talks about her makes you think she’s really bad.  It actually kind of sickens me, the way Janie talks about people.  But I put up with it because Derek is in love with her, and it’s taken him years to get in her inner circle.

I sat down next to Elena.  She didn’t notice me.  Her head was down, and it looked like she was having trouble breathing properly.  She was rocking back and forth slightly.  Her dark, curly hair hid her face.  And then she looked at me shyly, frowning.

“Are you okay?” I asked, wary.  She didn’t look too well.  I didn’t want anyone throwing up on me.  She continued to look at me with that frown, almost too long.  It was beginning to get kind of creepy.  And then, as if she noticed this too, she tried to smile.  But it came out like a grimace.  Or maybe it is a grimace, and she hates me.  She doesn’t want to be partners, I can clearly see that.  Of course, I don’t either.  She doesn’t seem to want to talk, so it was up to me to fill the silence that was fast becoming awkward.

“So...Ms. Brown says that we’re doing this project the whole semester, and that it will require time outside of class.  So we should meet at like, our houses or something.  Do you want-” I started, but she never let me finish.

“No.  No, we cannot meet at my house, we can never go over there,” she said.  She sounded harsh, but looked like she regretted saying it that way.  None the less, I was kind of annoyed, and confused.  Why did she have such a strong reaction to me going over to her house?  What’s over there that I can’t see?

“Okay, okay.  We can meet at my house then,” I said, hoping to diffuse the tension she seemed to emulate constantly.  She looked down, and then it was awkward.  So, having nothing else to do, I turned away from her.  I really wasn’t looking forward to this semester.  Whatever her deal was, I was not ready for it.

Elena’s reaction to me still came across my mind four classes later, when I was in line at lunch.  When I sat down at Janie’s table, they noticed something was up.

“What’s with you?” Derek asked.

“Nothing.  Um...do you know Elena Jacobs?” I asked.  That was a stupid question.  Of course they knew her.

“You mean that weird girl sitting over there?  Yeah, I know her.  Why?” Derek asked.

“I have to...um, work on an English project with her,” I answered.

“Damn, I feel bad for you.”

“Why are we feeling bad for Calum?” Janie asked, sitting down with her lunch.  She looked at us, supporting her chin with her hand, her fingernails tapping on the table.  She was waiting for an answer.

“He has to work with that freak, Elena Jacobs,” Derek said, taking a sip of his Cola.  at the mention of her name, Janie’s nose turned up in disgust.

“Ugh, I do feel sorry for you.”

“I don’t get it.  What’s so bad about her?” I asked.

“Let me tell you about Elena Jacobs.  She is a weird, lying, slutty freak who deserves to be locked in an asylum for the rest of her miserable life,” Janie spat.  Wow, she really must hate her.  But what did she do?

“What did she do?” I asked.

“You don’t even want to know,” she said, ending the discussion about Elena Jacobs.  Although it kind of bothered me, I guess Janie had a valid reason for not liking Elena.  She was kind of weird.  And a little hostile.  My eyes scanned the cafeteria for her.  I almost didn’t see her, she blended in so well.  She was sitting at a table with people, but at the very end, and they weren’t talking to her.  There was a couple spaces between her and the people.  She clearly was not welcome there.  

Later, at soccer practice, I saw Elena walking home from school, alone.  Did she really not have any friends?  But that can go both ways.  Maybe someone was trying to be her friend and she pushed them away.  Maybe she’s a person that just doesn’t like other people.  I certainly know she doesn’t like me.  

“Come on, Calum, get your head in the game!” Derek yelled, kicking a soccer ball at me.  I stopped it with my knee and kicked it back, getting my attention back on practice.  I wouldn’t try with Elena.  It just already seemed too complicated.  This would be a long semester.