Secret // Calum Hood

17

Calum

I am barely keeping it together.  But I have to, for Elena’s sake.  After I saw, it all made sense.  Why she was so quiet, why she always wore those rubber bracelets.  Why she flinched every time I would go near her arm.  Why she acted the way she did the first time I saw her bleeding.  I should have put the pieces together earlier.  I should have done something.  But I don’t know what I could have done that I’m not doing right now.  We’re here, right now, so I have to do my best to help her.  

She’s still sobbing, but they’re more like quiet little hiccups instead.  I felt the moisture flood my eyes when she slid down the wall, shaking, crying.  She’s given up.  She was still in my arms, but she’s still trembling, she’s still in so much pain that I don’t even know the first part of.  We sat like this for at least an hour.  I never let go of her.  I wanted her to know that I’m still here.  Even if she pushes me away, I still have to help her.  Not just because of my mother, but because Elena is a good person, and whatever has caused her to do this, I will get it out of her life for good.

She’s silent now, obviously exhausted.  I squeezed her gently, letting her know I’m still here.  She leaned against me, her head resting on my chest.  Her eyes were closed, but I think she was somewhere in between sleep and consciousness.  I didn’t want to disturb her.  She finally looked at peace, her eyelashes fluttering slightly, her cheeks becoming a little chubby.  But I couldn’t let her sleep on the floor.

“Elena,” I whispered in her ear.

Her eyes fluttered open, and she looked at me weakly.

“Let’s get you upstairs,” I whispered again, and I took her hand to help her up.  I thought about doing the thing where the guy carries the girl bridal style up the stairs, but I knew she would never let that happen.  She led me to her room, and meekly told me to sit down while she changed in her bathroom.  A few minutes later, she stepped out in her pajamas, that had yellow smiley faces all over them, which was ironic.

“Cute pj’s,” I laughed.

“Shut up,” she said weakly.

Before she got into bed, she checked her phone.  She informed me that her mother had an emergency at work, and wouldn’t be back until tomorrow evening.  So we were alone for almost twenty four hours.  I tucked her into bed, glad when she didn’t protest.  I was about to turn to leave, when she grabbed my  arm.

“What?” I asked.

“........Don’t leave,” she whispered, looking up at me, her eyes pleading.

How could I say no?  I nodded my head, and took off my shoes, climbing in next to her.  I didn’t take the blanket or anything, I figured it should separate us, she might not be comfortable if it wasn’t that way.  I gently laid back and rested my head against the pillow.

“I’m...I’m sorry-” she choked.

“Sh, sh...it’s okay. Don’t apologize.  We can sort it out in the morning,” I said, caressing her face.  I think she was too dazed to stop me, because I knew she probably wouldn’t like me touching her face on a normal day.  Hell, I don’t even know why I’m doing it.  I guess I just want her to know I’m here.  That I do care.